this year was the toughest one I have had in my life. i dropped out of college twice and was hospitalized 4 times. i have experienced the lowest points in my life this year. but i have also realized many important things. i have grown up. i have gotten closer to my husband. he is my best friend. he helps me through my illness. i have gotten closer to my church family and i am now in the beginning phases of getting real intensive treatment for my BPD. i hope that i begin to really heal this year. i am fed up of this lifestyle and this illness controlling my life. i hope to make real friends this year. i am missing the benefits of having other people in my life to talk to and to chill with. tomorrow i start my partial hospitalization. i hope it goes well. it is almost midnight. this year i am not around my “family.” it is really weird not being around them but i recognize that being around them is toxic for me. too many triggers all around. i wish everyone good luck in this new year. xx
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