The mistake that most people make when committing suicide is a total lack of planning and just acting on the spur of the moment. Under those circumstances it is no wonder that things do not go as expected. I am not telling you to not do it, but rather examine your desires to end it all and thoroughly research the method of dispatching yourself. Don’t rush the process, you have your whole life ahead of you to decide when to end it all.
You do not want to wake up in a hospital bed with half your head blown off. If you think that you had problems before; imagine what you will have if you are not successful.
Take your time, read some books on the subject, post your thoughts here and then plan, plan, plan ahead. If you still want to do it, act accordingly. Bye bye!!!