I ask the question why?  Why we want to take the only thing what has given to up by our parents? Like i have said in my other posts, i tried to kill myself 3 times, and every time it got worse, until i nearly died. I took the pills and tried to hang myself,  and it was the best  choice for me at that time.  I wanted to die so bad, a fantasised about it and it was only precious thing for me. I just loved the idea to die. I thought that i am just a burden to everyone and my time is to leave from this world. But was i right? Was that my destiny ? NO! I had and i have so much ahead of me. How do i know that? I know that beacause i have given my soul for others. For people who even do not know who i am. I have gained knowledge beyond my wildest expetations, i know what do they need and i can provide that.  It is not money, beacause its a thing what we just dont need to live. We need love, caring people and a forward future. This i no lie, this is no crazy talk, this is thruth. If you think you want to kill yourself, hurt youself or others, then think, why? Why am i hurting myself? Why i want to hurt so bad some other people? The right answer is not, “because im ugly, worthless, a useless waist of space, the answer is that we dont LOVE ourselves and others. There is no need for anger and sadness just think YOU are uniqe and only YOU can change yourself. I beleve that everyone can change themselves, i just know that. Put the hand on your heart and breath beeply and say to yourself : I am uniqe and i love myself. Say that again!
Say that to yourself if you really feel down, i know it will help.
Write down everything that you hate in yourself and analyze! Analyze as hell and try to change something, just by yourself. Â I truly beleve that you can do it! Put your heart in to it. The more you will analyze your problems and try to fix them, the easyer your life will get.
That method gave me my life back. No one told me to do that, is just invented that method in my head. I took a notebook and a pen and i started writing. Every day i wrote 2 kinds of problems : 1. my daily life and problems and 2.how to solve them. But at the beginning i wrote only about the problems until i understood how to fix them.
I just know that your life can get better, i really do,
With love,
….
2 comments
WHY? Maybe i’m so fucked in the head that i cant stand to live with myself! Maybe i’ve never felt love for anybody. i do resent this “gift” of life. why? because it’s so fucking pointless. human life means absolutely nothing. think about it. so therefore the only reason we should have to live is if we enjoy life. and i dont enjoy it so im not gonna live it. maybe it will get better. maybe it wont. maybe i dont care. maybe you dont know what you’re talking about and should stop acting like it.
That’s a really unhealthy thing you’re telling yourself. You won’t enjoy life all the time. And you may have not enjoyed it for a really long time. But judging by your username, you’re really young. Don’t kill yourself now, try to improve your life. Try and find some happiness, or at least some peace in small things. And try to be kind to others. I know it sounds like complete bullshit, but give it a chance. It really can help.