my name is not important I am 19 years old i have been alive long enough I wish to retire to the country side.
I see a world in decline north Korean aggression . loss of jobs an economy in the sewer. i leave this world with the happiness that I came into it with I wish no I want to die to be free of the earth mom dad I will watch over you for the stars but I feel that I have no desire to keep living I cant go on please cremate my body and throw my ashes into a river any […]
February 2013
People who are very young …read this before you kill yourself..
I see  people who are barely 17 sharing stories of wanting to kill themselves  over  family abuse or relationships. Whatever your reason , killing yourself at an age where you can build your life  is  extremely stupid. I remember wanting to kill myself in my teens and now i realise how stupid  it was.  When you are this young, you  think  the whole world is about the family or  school mates. It is not.  At this age you have the option of  leaving all behind  and building a  fabulous  life for yourself. You could  become a multi millionaire, a  star, you  could […]
Where Help is an illusion… LewisGale Medical Center
1900 Electric Road
Salem, VA 24153
(540) 776-4000
If you do not have health insurance, you need to know the following before calling a hotline or asking for help.
You may be sent to a hospital against your will. You are placed in handcuffs and possibly shackles. Your life will continue to get worse. Hospitals are businesses and want lots of money. The stay is about $2000 a day, not including doctor fees. You pay more than the negotiated rates of insurance companies. You want to die. A five […]
I don’t know how to tell if a guy likes me. (Pathetic, I suppose). I know that I probably don’t deserve to be on here. This is for people who are having problems. I’ll admit, I have problems. I do want to cut again. I want to cry. I can’t let myself have happiness. Wow. I had it for a day! A whole day. Actually, no, it stopped. Maybe 6 hours, I had that happiness. I guess that’s cool. I mean, what am I? I’m a monster. I don’t deserve to live. Everything is my fault. I could have stopped everything that’s happened in my […]
omg im back to it again. im really bad again. i seeked help and got it for a time. last aug i spent two times in the hospital due to attempts then got better for a short time. im thirty three yrs old and cant do it anymore. last oct i was raped and due to that rape im now four and half months preg. this has been my biggest desire… not to be raped but to have a ababy. but i still want to die. i dont want to look at what ive wanted most and remember the worst night of my life. im […]
Ok heres my story. By the way im very straight forward on what I’m saying, I won’t embellish anything or make it sound harsher or simpler than what it is or at least I’ll try. Actually I’ll make it sound much simpler than what it is…
My online boyfriend of 2 years (you may think this is not real love… yeah maybe it wasn’t for him, it was just a joke… playing with someone’s life what an asshole!). Yeah online but fuck, you can write it down I truly loved him and he really is killing me.
So back to the story… We had many common friends. […]
I’m not ugly, I’m not pretty. I’m just me. Depressed, lonely, boring me. I have a story, my story, to tell. I don’t believe in other people committing suicide, but i feel I should. I have so many reasons against me. I have had help, asked for it, it was given but nothing works. I’m still me here waiting, watching, wanting to die, but something keeps me from actually doing it. I want to so badly I cry because I cant even do that. Some days I eat everything, some days I don’t eat at all. I fail at school and suck at life. A ll I really want it to be […]
Well i think its time for me to actually do it. this isnt one of those crys for help. at this point its a done deal. ive always stayed alive despite always being depressed cause i had joys but they no longer make me happy and most importantly hope. but recently found out do to the way i am i ruined what last little bit of hope i had left. ive been doing that for years. so theres no reason to stay anymore. me being scared to pull the trigger wont stop me this time. ive got absolutely nothing now. ive created my own hell. […]
Feelings are so strange.
I never know how I’m going to feel. Sometimes when you’d expect me to be happy, I just feel like laying down and crying.
Sometimes when I’m surrounded by a group of friends I feel so alone.
I hate it.
If I had to choose the predominate feeling of my life it would be loneliness. And it’s ridiculous because I’m surrounded by people, people that I love, almost all the time. I know I’m not alone and yet I’m somehow disconnected from the group.
There’s some unseen barrier between me and them and all I want to do is get through it.
Knock it down forever.
But I don’t know where to begin,
I […]
I would like to share this quote with those who feel desperate or undecided:
“Every man with a little leisure and enough money for railway tickets, every man, indeed, who knows how to read, has it in his power to magnify himself, to multiply the ways in which he exists, to make his life full, significant and interesting.â€
―
The quote belongs to a writer called Aldous Huxley. When I read his thoughts, I realise how well he understood humanity and existential issues that some of us have to confront every day.
Be inspired.
It’s been almost two years since my last attempt, but the feeling of a near-end still lingers on. I’m not going to say nobody loves me because I know they do, I can feel it everyday. Truthfully, I’ve come to terms with these pushing thoughts and yearning urges that I have. Yes, I’m depressed but I believe most of that depression comes from the fact that I can’t die. At least I can’t die by my own hands.
I want to die, I really do but I don’t want to want it. Mainly for the people that care about me. Although I know they care, I […]
When someone ends up commiting suicide, everyone is there, they feel bad, they say they didnt ”see the signs”, they talk about how amazing you were, and so forth. But if you tell someone you’re suicidal, everything is different, no one wants to solve the problem, matter of fact, half of the time they act like it isnt a problem, that you wont ever ”do it”, that it’ll just ”go away”. They treat it like a joke,well let me tell you something, being suicidal isnt a joke, people do consider it as an only option, and treating the problem like it doesnt matter will not […]
So, I just cannot carry on a minute longer, and yet I’m forced to. I have an incurable disease and am so incredibly depressed with all this suffering. Having failed to jump off a high bridge, drown myself, suffocate with a bag and an overdose and bag, I am now going for the Helium bag method. I really need this to work. I’ve bought the cylinder, made the exit bag and now I just need the hose and the regulator. I’ve been trying to get a response from Exit but my emails and phone messages have gone unanswered. Has anyone […]
when you need money for an effective death
hello everyone, its een awhile since ive been here. i wanted to invite you to my youtube channel where i  am recording my depression diaries. type in “jmemaund” to see them. some videos are sad, while some are goofy and silly. i think you can relate to them…
Pills, blades and an 8th floor window. After a few decades of life, a few hundred thousand hours of work, learning, hoping, dreaming, fighting for what (I thought) is right, saving for the future, loved ones, loves lost, and everything else that makes up a life, it turns out that all I ever needed are these three things. First the pills to numb the pain, then the knives to do the deed, and last the window for dramatic effect.
I can’t believe I wasted so much effort on this meaningless world. The only worthy thing I did was to take care of her. But she died. […]
I’m so angry right now and fed up I really don’t know what to do and I’m tired of brushing off my feelings and burying them away inside like they’re nothing. I’ve really tried to overcome my depression but nothing has helped and I’m starting to question myself because having depression has really messed with how I look myself before this illness and I’m tired of hearing things like “this will pass” and other things like that because if that were true  then I wouldn’t be here right now and I’m tired and I just want to feel what I’m feeling and not cover it […]
I’m feeling angryt as a fucking stampede whether that makes sense or not. I’m feeling “bipolar as fuck”, thats my self evaluation. I drank a Monster Energy “Supplement” and it has me hyperactive, and feeling extra shitty. I want to blow off steam. I tried talking to the SP chat, but they are on their own tangent and tending to their wounded and my mind was too fastpaced to even comprehend their acknowledgement of my current condition.
Dont tell them I’m complaining about them,, I really am not, I’m complaining about myself and shit thats going on in my head. I need some sort of release […]
Hi all,
I’ve only just discovered this page but I am at one of the lowest points of my entire life…
I went through a trauma when I was younger that I am not yet ready to talk about but for as long as I can remember I have always let it shape who I am… After reading about PTSD and it’s symptoms I am now sure that this is what I have.
I have always typically been a loner, except for high school when I had a medium-sized group of friends… I have always been unenthusiastic about things, especially things I genuinely have an interest in…. It’s […]
In my last post, I’d shared how I felt, after taking the pills. I was finally satisfied..thinking that everything will be over soon. but it wasn’t, they weren’t the right pills. I’d been devastated in the morning..I was just so unhappy, I’d never cried so much, as I had when I woke up today. but as I went to school, led my normal life, some things got better..I felt happy, at some point I was so happy my stomach hurt. I felt okay,throughout the day when I had the worst beginning ever. it made me realise something..maybe this is God’s way of showing that He […]