Dear ShitFuck,

March 31st, 2013 by flatus


Thank you for the bright red Office Space styled Swingline stapler. As requested, the coordinates to your mobile home have been registered as one of our possible future targets for tactical nuclear assault.

Regretfully I must admit that we have received thousands of similar requests from others wishing annihilation for themselves. And it is our policy to strike such targets in first come first served priority to ensure fairness.

Yours truly,
Kim “the Donger” Jong-un

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16 Responses to “Dear ShitFuck,”

Most recent comments shown, ordered chronologically on the page.

  1. It’s too bad that guy didn’t invest in some hair gel and go full Mohawk.

  2. LOL good one vee sub tee :)

  3. his a dick lets kick his ass

  4. Not ’till he nukes me first god damnit. Them Swingline staplers are expensive since they jacked up the price on the bright red ones.

  5. This planet doesn’t have enough world leaders rockin’ the hawk.
    Whatever, don’t worry about it. If you live in a mobile home a tornado a tornado will come around eventually.

  6. That’s true *fingers crossed* between odds of a twister and odds of the Donger comin’ through maybe my ship will come in sometime soon. :)

  7. I can’t imagine why somebody named ShitFuck wants to die. You seem pretty godammed solid to me.

  8. Family name apparently it was popular around Vienna when my great great grand pappy came over early in the 1800s

  9. hahaha. I can only imagine how cruel the children in grade school must have been.
    Eh, fuck ‘em all. You’re ShitFuck. Own it!

  10. My class had two other guys worse off named Richard Head and Gaylord Focker so I guess I flew under the radar no one seemed the least bit interested. ;)

  11. Dick Cheese is destined for porn, (or an STD), Gaylord is destined for gay porn.
    You’re right, Your life ain’t so fucking bad. :)

  12. Aww shit I’ve hadda good life. It’s been exhausting though I’m totally cooked. Never wanted to live to 100 pissing and shitting all over myself. I ain’t got kids no friends no one’s gonna get too hot under the collar. Hell I just wanna git while the gettins good.

  13. The guy in the picture has more Chins than a Chinese phonebook.
    If the world explodes it’ll interfere with my online porn addiction, but I’m trying to break that habit anyways. So it’s a win-win.

  14. Yeah at first I tawt I saw one of those decorative pen fluffs on the Donger’s sharpie but it look like it’s just some douchey lapel pin on his jacket.

  15. Ok, this thread was entirely necessary. A good laugh is much needed around here. Well done, ShitFuck, well done. May the nuclear fallout reach us all. Amen.

  16. This made me laugh. Which made me think… A good way to die would be of laughter:)

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