I don’t know how I feel

March 8th, 2013by whateveridc

Same old boring bad background like everyone else:

-My sister died when I was younger, and I still feel like it was my fault that she died.

-My parents split

-Living in poverty since then

– Haven’t lived in the same house for over a year in like 6 years,  eviction has met us more than once

-Don’t have anyone to trust

This year was the first time I really started to think about suicide seriously.   I was talking to the school psychologist about it and all she did was question me, “Do you have a plan?”, “What steps would you take?”.  Then she made me call a hotline and I for real did not want to.  I was kind of pissed.  Then she made me promise to tell 2 people before I did it..it was her and the school counselor.  Eventually they went behind  my back and called my mom in because I gave myself a concussion by hitting my head.  I was so angry, but of coarse they see it as more symptoms of depression.  They didn’t understand me.  Really ever since them I haven’t talked to them.  I see too many people just doing things to get attention.  I’m sick of it.  That’s why I bottle up my emotions.   I think that I am now a misanthropist…I hate humans.  I’m not kidding.  And I’m not hypocritical, because I hate myself also.

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