By any means, I am not a ray of sunshine. I can’t help it. I’m only a teenager and I’ve basicly given up on life. I have no hopes for the future.
I used to want to be a journalist. I wanted to move back to Ireland and write about everything and anything. I wanted to get married and have a kid or two. I just wanted something out of life, but now I feel nothing. I feel numb. I just don’t know what I actually want. I had plans to do marvelous things with my best friends. But now, since one’s dead and the other dying, they’ve turned to rubbish. The rest of my friends are basicly done with me, though I’m not sure what I’ve done.
Recently, I read a book that described my life perfectly. It said:
“The world was so full of colour. Brilliant reds, deep blues, and the like filled the earth. It was magical, but as my life was strung out, they changed. They changed into the colours that swallow you up. My world is now grey and black. There is no light, and no life. Where has everyone gone? Why can’t I see past my arm’s length? Why had God condemned me to such hell as this?”
The book is really brilliant. It’s so relatable. Recently I’ve been thinking that since I don’t sleep, I might as well do something useful with my time. So, I’m finally starting to write again. I made an account on a website called wattpad. Follow me at cokeandunicorns if you have one. I don’t know, but I think it might help me get my dream back.
But who knows? I certainly don’t.
I’m no ray of sunshine.