March 11th, 2013by endofanera
I can’t believe it! After months of research and planning I have attempted the helium exit bag method. I bought the large size balloon time helium tank, 3 metres of hose, a jubilee clip to attach it to the tank. I had used my oven roasting bags in an attempt to suffocate myself without gas, but the body just won’t let you. I can tell you that they were airtight! I bought some more bags but discovered they weren’t airtight, having made the effort to use one of them to make a betty bag. I had to buy the toggles from the internet and I found some elastic and micropore in the house. I was so upset that the bag wasn’t air tight. I then bought some more oven bags and clear plastic bags (I had to buy 100!) from the internet and discovered that the oven bags weren’t air tight so I used the plastic bags. I had trouble with the jubilee clip to attach the hose, but I eventually managed to tighten it. I was all ready this morning.
Let me explain. I have chronic fatigue syndrome, which means that I am constantly exhausted but never rested, even if I manage to sleep a little. I have pains all over my body and I can’t enjoy anything. My life is over. I am 51 years old and my illness has no cure. I thought that EXIT would help me, but they have been useless. No-one will respond to my emails about Max Dog Brewing nitrogen kit or the flow regulator. I have a wonderful family who don’t want me to die. I don’t want to die, but I have died already an am forced to live like a zomie in this dead body and very depressed mind. It is hell and no-one can help.
So this morning was the day. I set everything up, squeezed everything out of the bag, put it on my head and turned the tap on the helium so that it would fill the bag in 1 min 40 seconds. That seems to be the optimum flow rate to ensure 15 L / min. I breathed out and pulled the bag down. I breathed in and out for two minutes, and although my voice went high pitched and I felt dizzy and sick, nothing else happened.
I decided that there must be a hole in the bag. So I made another one. Repeated the exercise. Still nothing. I turned up the helium a little and that made me feel like I was going to pass out but I didn’t. After two minutes I took the bag off again. I am so, so upset. I don’t think that I now have enough helium in the tank to manage another go. Maybe I should have sealed up the joins in the bag with tape. Oxygen coming in seems to be the only thing that stops it working. I just can’t believe it. I had even emailed the supplier of the Balloon Time helium to ask about the purity of the product. They assured me that it was 98% pure. People manage this method all the time, but I can’t. A 16 year old boy killed himself just last week. This is attempt no 8 at killing myself and I had researched it so well. I can’ hang myself because my carotid artery is very deeply buried, slitting your wrists doesn’t work, I’ve tried sleeping pills and a bag, wading into the sea to drown and I’ve also had two goes at jumping off a bridge into water.
That is my plan B but I can’t carry it out today. I am going to jump off the Severn Bridge. The fall into the water may kill me, but if it doesn’t then I will drown. That will be horrendous. However, it is very windy today, and that means that the wind will break my fall somewhat and the water will be churned up which also breaks my fall. It is very cold, which is a good thing, but I would hope to be knocked out, if not killed outright in the fall. On a windy day like this (30mph gales) my efforts would be thwarted. I am so keen to die. I am desperate. My life has no meaning and I have suffered enough.
Has anyone any suggestions about what went wrong with the helium or anyone who has tried and failed jumping off a high bridge into water (this is 37m high) I would be so grateful. I just have to die. I have suffered an eternity already. I am devastated that the helium didn’t work. HELP!