Why did the helium bag fail? HELP!

March 11th, 2013 by endofanera

I can’t believe it! After months of research and planning I have attempted the helium exit bag method. I bought the large size balloon time helium tank, 3 metres of hose, a jubilee clip to attach it to the tank. I had used my oven roasting bags in an attempt to suffocate myself without gas, but the body just won’t let you. I can tell you that they were airtight! I bought some more bags but discovered they weren’t airtight, having made the effort to use one of them to make a betty bag. I had to buy the toggles from the internet and I found some elastic and micropore in the house. I was so upset that the bag wasn’t air tight. I then bought some more oven bags and clear plastic bags (I had to buy 100!) from the internet and discovered that the oven bags weren’t air tight so I used the plastic bags. I had trouble with the jubilee clip to attach the hose, but I eventually managed to tighten it. I was all ready this morning.
Let me explain. I have chronic fatigue syndrome, which means that I am constantly exhausted but never rested, even if I manage to sleep a little. I have pains all over my body and I can’t enjoy anything. My life is over. I am 51 years old and my illness has no cure. I thought that EXIT would help me, but they have been useless. No-one will respond to my emails about Max Dog Brewing nitrogen kit or the flow regulator. I have a wonderful family who don’t want me to die. I don’t want to die, but I have died already an am forced to live like a zomie in this dead body and very depressed mind. It is hell and no-one can help.
So this morning was the day. I set everything up, squeezed everything out of the bag, put it on my head and turned the tap on the helium so that it would fill the bag in 1 min 40 seconds. That seems to be the optimum flow rate to ensure 15 L / min. I breathed out and pulled the bag down. I breathed in and out for two minutes, and although my voice went high pitched and I felt dizzy and sick, nothing else happened.
I decided that there must be a hole in the bag. So I made another one. Repeated the exercise. Still nothing. I turned up the helium a little and that made me feel like I was going to pass out but I didn’t. After two minutes I took the bag off again. I am so, so upset. I don’t think that I now have enough helium in the tank to manage another go. Maybe I should have sealed up the joins in the bag with tape. Oxygen coming in seems to be the only thing that stops it working. I just can’t believe it. I had even emailed the supplier of the Balloon Time helium to ask about the purity of the product. They assured me that it was 98% pure. People manage this method all the time, but I can’t. A 16 year old boy killed himself just last week. This is attempt no 8 at killing myself and I had researched it so well. I can’ hang myself because my carotid artery is very deeply buried, slitting your wrists doesn’t work, I’ve tried sleeping pills and a bag, wading into the sea to drown and I’ve also had two goes at jumping off a bridge into water.
That is my plan B but I can’t carry it out today. I am going to jump off the Severn Bridge. The fall into the water may kill me, but if it doesn’t then I will drown. That will be horrendous. However, it is very windy today, and that means that the wind will break my fall somewhat and the water will be churned up which also breaks my fall. It is very cold, which is a good thing, but I would hope to be knocked out, if not killed outright in the fall. On a windy day like this (30mph gales) my efforts would be thwarted. I am so keen to die. I am desperate. My life has no meaning and I have suffered enough.
Has anyone any suggestions about what went wrong with the helium or anyone who has tried and failed jumping off a high bridge into water (this is 37m high) I would be so grateful. I just have to die. I have suffered an eternity already. I am devastated that the helium didn’t work. HELP!

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64 Responses to “Why did the helium bag fail? HELP!”

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  1. “I have chronic fatigue syndrome, which means that I am constantly exhausted but never rested, even if I manage to sleep a little. I have pains all over my body and I can’t enjoy anything. My life is over. I am 51 years old and my illness has no cure.”

    Sounds like my life, though I’m younger than you. I’d really like to help, endofanera, but I chose not to use the exit bag method for the very reason you’re having trouble with it. I don’t understand how to make it work myself, so I can’t help you with that. The best I can do is offer you a source that may or may not be able to sell you a peaceful poison. While I trust them, I cannot guarantee you will get what you ordered.

    I myself have purchased a shotgun and will probably use it within the next two weeks. I have no reason to trick you. I believe in an adult’s right to peaceful self deliverance and if you want to try another route, I’m willing to share their contact info. You have my deepest sympathy, and I hope you find a way out one way or another. I know what you’re dealing with is very, very difficult.

  2. Thanks so much letmesleep. We can’t easily get hold of firearms in the uk. I just have to go! Any suggestions from anyone would be so welcome. Email me endofanera@hushmail.com Nembutal drink would be the best, but even. Cyanide is better than jumping off a bridge!

  3. I’m panning to jump off beachy head, i just dont wanna do it alone and i dont wanna fail,i feel your pain x

  4. actually i do wanna do it alone, just scared and resue people watch beachy head all day and ill probably get rescused girl alone walking near the edge… would be just my luck .. cant fail again

  5. Valentina, i hope u manage it. Beachy head is an excellent spot. Just take a big jump so you don’t get caught on any ledges. I hate the idea of jumping. I really want to go tomorrow but it is still too windy. I have a headache and i feel sick after all that helium and i can still taste it. 11 suicide attempts and still no luck!

  6. its not the best of weather here eh? i hope you feel a bit better tomorrow

  7. @endofanera: I am sorry for your suffering and pain. This is my girl’s current method of choice. She has everything ready except the regulator. So, I appreciate hearing how it works and any problems. I hope you find peace.

  8. Gabe123, i do hope that your girl is more successful than i am. I didn’t have a regulator but that wasn’t the problem. Either air was getting in or the helium wasn’t pure enough. We read all these hopeful tales about passing out and dying, and how easy it is and isn’t helium dangerous, but it isn ‘t true. I am now considering nitrogen, but it’s not as easy as buying a balloon time helium tank. I do hope that your girl finds peace soon.

  9. Are you doing the propaganda thing to stop people attempting it.? Or Deep down you Didn’t want to kill your self. Nitrogen method is the same as the helium method. A gas that relplace the oxygen in the bag. What gas you use is not important. So if you failed use in helium you with fail with nitrogen.?

  10. Yeah I’m confused. People keep posting “I took my hood off, and it dittent work!”
    Sit upright (helium rises) and keep the hood on.

    That’s what I’m gonna do, there’s NO WAY I’m taking that sucker off unless both my 15 footers are empty and I’m still awake.

  11. Donnie, I was as sceptical as you are about stories of failure, but I now see that they were true. The exit bag is not a failsafe method. And i can assure u that i desperately want yo die. I went today to a gas supplier to see about nitrogen. The tank is huge compared with helium and v heavy. Then there us the regulator. It doesn’t control flow, so i need a flow meter as well. Then i had to try to ask him which pressure i would need to set it at. I couldn’t exactly say what it was for! The descrptions on the web say all manner things. It was so confusing I came home in despair.
    Does anyone know the pressure from(not in) the tank in psi? Exit’s nitrogen is set at 3 kilo pascals, which is v low. Is that what I need? Please help someone. I really do need to be gone.
    I was reading about Yew poisoning for suicude today. I even sourced some yew trees. Then i found all the stories about people who failed. Why is it so hard to die? My illness won’t kill me but it is incurable. Maybe tommorrow I’ll have the courage to jump off the bridge and drown…

  12. Maybe you just paniced. After all. Suicide what ever method you use is going to be easy or will out some kind of panic. Ive read alot of case reports.

    According to Pieter Admiraal’s book in 119 reported successful cases using helium and a plastic bag Nearly all cases sed a non refillable balloon kit although it is less reliable than any industrial size tank. In 62 cases where time to unconsciousness was measured and reported by an eyewitness the average was 35 seconds in cases where it took longer than average it was reported that there were difficulties with gas flow Leaking tube nozzle connections or improper seal between the neck and the bag. That’s why a good preparation is needed.
    Maybe not ready to end your life right now.?

    For this method to work we got to lose consciousness quickly. Or we will panic. If there’s quite a bit of oxygen in the bag when we put it over our head’s or we have not taking all the air out of our lung’s Then that’s not going to happen.

    I hope you don’t jump off a bridge or anything.

  13. Sorry Donnie, that’s not what happened. I sat there for three minutes, watching the clock. I did that three times. I even made a second bag just in case there was a leak in the bag. The flow of helium didn’t stop and the tube was secured with a jubilee clip, so no air got in there. I prepared and researched and read everything. That’s why i was so horrified when it didn’t work. No panic, very organised. I now believe all those posts that say they failed.

  14. endofanera you must of missed something.? How big was your bag.? Was it to small.? Or your subconscious step in and stopped you. Google daily mail helium suicide. Sad story. The was only 16.

  15. Donnie, the bag was the correct size. I saw the story about the boy. I know it can be done, just didn’t work for me. My subconscious didn’t stop me. I sat there until way after i was meant to be dead. There is no foolproof way if killing yourself. People even manage to survive jumping off the golden gate bridge! I’ve not come across anyone who has survived jumpingoff the severn bridge, presumably because they drown before they’re found. I got excitited today reading stories of people who died from yew poisoning, then found other people saying it didn’t work for them. I did try drowning myself and my body stopped me then. I couldn’t walk into the sea or jump off the bridge or suffocate mysekf with just a bag. THOSE were my subconscious mind and my body. The helium was an expensive disappointment. I really wanted to be gone and I did everything right.

  16. endofanera The heluim method should not be done along. It’s for people who are really suffering from ill health and have no quality of life. Is they anybody you can find to help you.? Exit or beat your depression.? Talk to someone. If you jump off a bridge And mess it up. Could be worse. And your family will be really pissed very upset.

  17. I i meant alone. If you are really suffering from ill health. dose your family/friend’s know.? Ask them to help you exit.? And what about dignitas. It’s dose not have to be terminal. If you in pain and have no quality of life. There will help you Exit peacefully.

  18. U r v kind. I have huge support and lots of love. They just can’t make me better.

  19. My first test with balloon time helium i passed out in about 2 minutes with the flow control kit from exit international and a exit bag.. my body started to tingle all over just before i passed out. I needed to know how fast it worked so this was just a test.

  20. to the original poster,

    I don’t know if you will see this. I had what I thought was chronic fatigue syndrome for 17 years. I turned out to be lyme disease. Most doctors are clueless about Lyme disease here in the U.S. One doctor gave me a Lyme test after I insisted, but the tests are very inaccurate, so it came back negative. I had to diagnose and treat myself with a magnetic coil called a Doug Coil, after the person who invented it. It took 3 years, but I am now well.

    There is a movie, Under Our Skin, which you may be able to find on the net and watch. I wish you the best.

  21. endofanera and letmesleep have not posted on this site for about a month now, I’m afraid that they may have gone home to the Lord.

  22. why dont u just buy a flow meter and connect it to the tank? its like a tube with a litte bead that say how muxh is coming(flowing) from the tank, sorry if my english is weird im from mx

  23. Coitus: They could be in the hospital.

  24. Coitus: They could be in the hospital.

  25. Being death obsessed, I spent some time with google. I found a small little report about a death from a woman jumping. The age, sex and the date seemed to fit (about a week after the last comment). Unless it was a series of coincidences, I think she has passed. I hope she got the peace she was looking for.

  26. @Dawgmom-it is pretty certain that letmesleep has passed. I’m fairly sure that endo is as well, but not 100% confident. Either way, it also brings home the reality and finality of death when users here take that final leap.

  27. glass_music_cup: I think I would agree about endofanera. I found an obit with photo. :(

    And, you’re right. It’s final. And, sad.

  28. @DawgMom: I guess you’re a better Sherlock Holmes than me. I only found a short little news article. I bet it sank in even deeper reading the obituary. A photo beside that would probably make it seem so much more real :(.

  29. Oh Endofanera,

    I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. All my thoughts and prayers go with you. May you find peace. I myself am planning on doing it with nitrogen. I hope to get my tank from Max Dog brewing before the end of the year. Hopefully, by then they will ship to Canada. Good luck in all your endevors. :)

  30. Oh Endofanera,

    I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. All my thoughts and prayers go with you. May you find peace. I myself am planning on doing it with nitrogen. I hope to get my tank from Max Dog brewing before the end of the year. Hopefully, by then they will ship to Canada. Good luck in all your endevors. :)

  31. hope it works for you soon man love and peace

  32. there are ice bags cube can buy that already have the drawstring and everything is attached to it so cube wont need any supplies. only problem is cube have to buy em in bulk :( which is 100 bucks faaaaak! but all a cube would need to do is to buy drawstring ice bag and a helium tank.

  33. Endofanera, I also have CFS and fibromyalgia. No one seems to understand the pain you can experience from never resting. I’m always exhausted, I can’t do anything. Then I started having seizures in December…nothing helps. This is not a life. I can’t work and I can’t get any disability so I’m soon to be homeless, sick and miserable. I’m almost 50 yrs old and I am done with all of this. I’m going to do the exit bag with helium but I cannot figure out the flow regulator. I’m completely broke so I can’t just go buy one and I don’t know what to tell the people at the tank rental why I need one. I saw aon the Betty videos that they “made” one but there is no mention of how to do that!!! I’m at my wits end, I just want to be out of pain finally

  34. I want to do the helium method also but are the ones at wal mart enough, they may not be pure helium I’ve seen ,or are they large enough ? Do you need the flow regulator and where do you get them? I saw the video also and hope it is as easy as they say,and peaceful

  35. I know letmesleep is gone and I seem to think endofanera has exited too. I hope they’ve found the peace they were searching.

    I completely understand the lacking in quality of life especially when coupled with chronic physical conditions with no cure. If one is in this situation and no relief is able to be achieved through palliative care or otherwise then I feel one has the right to exit with dignity. Myself, I’ve suffered for well over 20 years but have another option I have not examined so … I need to give it a try. However, I have attempted an exit.

    I used the helium method but failed due to unconscious, reflexive actions – I awoke 30 minutes later to find I had torn the bag open while “sleeping” … there was still a small bit of gas flowing but, not enough for a second attempt. For me, it just didn’t seem as if this little tank with happy colours painted on it would be able to provide the 10L to 11L flow rate capacity for the duration I required so I put together a valve in order to combine three tanks. If you’re familiar with basic household plumbing then you’ll be able to manage as each of the individual fittings assembled were threaded. A little plumbers tape and a wrench and I was in business. There are quite a few videos on the yootoobs with specific instructions so take a look there.

    When I visited the hardware shop (a big-box store) I came with my list of parts and asked for assistance and when they asked what I was creating I simply stated I need to combine a couple tanks and ensure a flow rate of blah blah blah for a project. What it’s needed for is none of their business.

    If you do have other options for relief I urge you to reach out for that care however if all options have truly been exhausted then, I wish you peace in your endeavours and the final outcome.

  36. @bdc – I see you have a post still awaiting moderation but, you’re asking about an obituary report for endofanera. I haven’t found one however there is a report of a woman jumping from the Severn Bridge about a week after her last posting (a post asking about yew dated, 13-March). The report indicated the coast guard pulled “a woman” from the water, performed CPR then transferred her to Frenchay Hospital in Bristol. They made no mention of anything further except that, “We have had an unfortunate incident.”

  37. @bdc – I stand corrected. I did locate an article regarding the same woman referenced in the report indicating she had died and goes on further to identify her.

    @endofanera and @letmesleep: peace to you both.

  38. I also believe “onthewayout” is gone as well but I don’t know for sure

  39. And, glass_music_cup, I fear. R.I.P. all.

  40. You’re all so inspiring, I can’t wait to try again.

  41. Thanks sometimesoon…but i still cannot find anything on it. Could you please send me the link? Or what to search for in google….i have tried severn bridge march 2013. Thanks again

  42. I did find it after some more searching and I hope she indeed found what she was looking for. R.I.P

  43. I just looked up the Severn bridge on Wikipedia and it is the exact same height as the mackinac, which I have been considering. Odd that the clearance below is exactly the same.

  44. There’s no such thing as a failsafe suicide, success stories are luckky, for what they want to do I mean.

  45. Really glad I found this site. For several years now the “Final Exit” helium method has been my ‘panic button.’ It seemed a much more secure way than my ‘shotgun’ solution, especially after reading some pretty horrific stories about failures. Reading the comments here now has me worried again.

    Sounds like-from what I’ve read elsewhere-that nitrogen is a better choice, but can anyone tell me where one could purchase it? Also, does anyone know roughly how many successful suicides have used either helium or nitrogen? It is truly sad religious fanatics have drowned out the kind of info we need with their noise. Will never forget the first time I googled ‘suicide support groups.’ Like 98% of the hits were anti groups, and many bozos trying to shut down all sites offering solace to those wishing to get off the bus.

    tia for any answers wrt my 2 questions above. I take things day to day, but have always believed in preparing for the worst, which could be one fall away.

  46. @arpie-The creator of this thread actually ended up jumping off a bridge. A lot of people on this site don’t trust the exit bag. I’ll probably end up using a shotgun to because of our stupid laws. That is if I can even get one which might be impossible due to my previous “attempt”. If I can’t get a shotgun then I’ll jump off a bridge and hope for the best I suppose.

    The lack of options in this world disturbs me. I just want to end my torturous existence, that’s all. Being alive is literally hell for me. I’m sure you can relate.

  47. endofanera, if you haven’t exited yet, I suggest you first try marijuana before truly trying to exit. It is EXTREMELY effective for chronic pains, I know people who have cancer and are in constant pain, always miserable, and have no will to live suddenly feel comfortable when stoned, enough that they start enjoying life again.

    It doesn’t numb you, it just makes pain a separate non-comfortable feeling, like tasting something sweet on your tongue. Same goes for most uncomfortable physical feelungs such as fatigue.

    Regardless, I wish you peace.

  48. Godspeed endofanera and letmesleep.

  49. I just have to say…

    The U.S. Gov’t would prefer to let us suffer to the point of wishing for death (and actually enacting it), instead of allowing us to legally cultivate, possess, and consume cannabis.

    This cold hard fact, in and of itself, contributes significantly more to my own suffering, as well as that of countless others. “We” have made that point, over and over again, for decades… and they simply do not care. We are not allowed to alleviate our suffering with an accessible, reliable, sustainable, natural method, which has been known for a very long time, to be at least adequately effective, and minimally detrimental.

    Is it any wonder that the hopeless have lost hope?

  50. euthanasia. Hi. I am 39 years of age. 1.5 years ago as a result of my medical mistakes and cut me all healthy colon. I had no idea what I decide to have a bad idea about the consequences of surgery. Now I’m completely broken mentally my life is a constant torment. I can not sleep I have no strength to do anything, neither the mental nor physical, and soon I lose place of residence. the strong man but a large hole and a large neurotic wreck became a dying man. please help with obtaining information as I can and where I can lose it in August of euthanasia and sponsorship and its because I no longer have to live on-I had no money before the operation I was a rich man but lost everything. . Please help because no one and nothing can help me and I’m not suicidal and I can not hang up or jump off a bridge. do not want to become a creeper and all this is going. my account on facebook is Jerzy Burkat livin Niepolomice Krakow. I decided on surgery as a result of bad information and confusion and emotional state, I could not think rationally, I began to fear it’s too late, too late I began to have doubts. I was alone and stressed garments not able to make good decisions. – I had a healthy gut and you should not carry out any operation, most appendectomy because he was sick. Now I am getting weaker without the colon losing weight, I have no means of livelihood, living without electricity, water, gas in the house that I can at any time to lose. I’m alone left me a partner from whom I was dependent. not important right now. I do not enjoy the world lost their lives meaning, without colorectal cancer can not live. I’m already a big problem with the heart, kidneys, eyes, walking – hip-problems numb my leg I lost 25 kilograms and visually aged 30 years, burning me no bowel high creatinine and urea destroy my brain. I was completely healthy before the surgery. Please help in getting information and possibly a trip to the country where I could die in a human way. my desire is to live but to operations such as in health, with depression can recover but when you have not a care in August alone does not live in August alone and August, at least in a sufficient state of health. please help.

  51. intestine was almost healthy very end was slightly ill – but in remission hemorrhoids do not bleed. I did not have cancer. skype youras30

  52. endofanera…tel me you are still alive, please?. On the 25 of July 2013 i received a letter from the man I was in love with. It was an abusive relationship, he wasnt a nice person at all and had manipulated me for so long. The letter he wrote me was more a less a suicide note but only of selfish value. We were not together and only just a few days before he sent that letter he had been arrested for assaulting me again. I still loved him but knew I could no longer communicate with him as his intensions were to only hurt me, emotionally, mentally and physically of which hurt me so much inside, but still, I didnt want him to die, but he did. I raced to his abode and was greeted by the police and told he had already passed away. He just needed help with his issues but he is gone now and I am utterly broken. I will never be the same. No one cares due to the knowledge of the things he did to me but I still cared very much but I am now dealing with this solely alone and it is hell. I have a 16 year old who I love so much, I have lost 2 children already, my father died suddenly in 2008 and prior to that I had lost a good friend. I have felt suicidal so many times I cannot count but I am still here. Already suffering for a debilitating depression and now a severe depression and anxiety problem is what I am left with, I hate feeling the way I do, I am so very unhappy but I am still here and I am still here more so now as I could not hurt the people I love so dearly that way. Trust me when I say that how ever bad you feel, it is nothing compared to what will be felt by those who love you. Chronic fatigue is treat able. After coming across the website I saw your message on, I did a little home work. I came across the website you used after trying to google answers to why my ex partner used the exit bag method. I have never heard of this before. I have lost a friend or 2 over the years through suicide, one hanged them self and the other laid down on the train track in a position that allowed decapitation, violent yes but clearly final but I have never known of the method my ex used. I feel lost, partly responsible and empty. I hurt every day, it feels like I have only half a heart and although I keep going for my son, inside I have dies and my life has become a waiting game while I robotically function when I have to. This is not just a grieving or a bereavement and I know only too well what those emotions feel like, this is something different, this is something that i cannot describe to an exact but it is a constant tearing and ripping inside me, every minute of every second of every day. An intense pain is now present in every part of my body, I feel like i am now in a perfect living hell. It is only the child I have left that makes me still breathe. I will never ever be the same again and while I am receiving therapy, its crap. I cry all over the place, I want to just ;lay down and never get up, I dont want to be in pain especially like this, for this pain is permanent and although time does eventually heal, I have experience in that, I already know that what I feel now is going to be a torture until the day I die. I feel like a different person now,
    I have lost myself completely and wish to god that i would just slip back inside myself and deal with this but I cant, I know I cant and I know I will never be the person I was, which wasnt so bad, in fact I was quite a good person, im not a bad person now, I am just dead inside myself and feel as though my soul has already left my body, BUT, I am still here and I am stilll here as when you love the people around you and know that they too love you so very much, knowing this just in itself makes me know how the people I love would feel i left and so here I am, all these years later, after already going through so much pain, here I am still, trying to bear a pain that is the most unbearable of all. Please, dont take your life, no matter how desperate you feel, please think of those who love you and how so very hurt and unhappy they will become, and they will and it will be something that they will have to live with and it is not a bearable pain to live with not even with time. Believe me when I tell you, that to live in pain as to not cause others pain, is a pain worth living with, no matter how unbearable you feel, calculate the desperation you feel by a zillions and what you have is what is will be felt by those that love you. I have done a little research for you as CFS is something I too have suffered with on and off for many years, it started after losing my first child to cot death when I was just 19, I am now 44. I am going to paste a couple of links for you to read about CFS, please read them and remember that people love you so much, if you die before you are meant to, then in effect you will kill them too for they will live in utter pain for life i they can manage to continue living them self. Remeber that life gives life and death unfortunately brings death. My ex would have been 51 this coming December. He needed help with his issues, he was a very angry man but also extremely manipulative and cruel but the worst thing is, is that I am left knowing that he didnt love me at all in any way and that hurts more than the abuse he gave. I wanted to help him get help so much and the shit thing is, is that he could have, and he could have made his lie feel a bit better, he didnt have much admittedly but he did have someone that loved him unconditionally and he knew that and that is why he actually is very cruel to do what he has done but, he didnt love me and so I guess why would he care how I feel and how bad the effects are in my life now, for myself and my family. He was not the father of my son nor was he even a friend, it was the most ugliest involvement I had ever known but, I did not want him to die but he has and so he will never be able to put anything right now, never be able to say hey, I am so sorry, never be able to say, “I `m so glad I got help and now live a better life for myself”….

    Whoever you are, please, i ask you, can you let me know that you are still here??? please?

    I can be a pen pal, someone to talk to if you want, someone you can call whatever time of the day or night, I can be someone who can listen and hopefully persuade you that if you take your life, you will be taking the lives of the people who love you, with you also as we all die when the people we love die and leave us.

    My name is Luisa, my ex partners name was Henry, Henry passed away sometime between 23-25 July 2013 and so did I in a round about way, I still breathe, I function but I am not living as such and the pain that I feel in indescribable.


    Just a person who does understand but mostly i`m just a person who does give a damn!

  53. endofanera, link 1, please have a read befor. you make a final decision http://autoimmunityresearch.org/

  54. I have since read further messages and it appears that my message may not reach enofanera. I dont want any of you to die, there really is an alternative, there is always an alternative to death when you have a choice. I am sorry that I appear to be too late, as I was with for my ex. Love to all of you here and please reconsider your actions that will leave so many people in pain. x

  55. ps…is there anyone here that possibly knew a man who lived in West Drayton, London UK, near Uxbridge???? Is there a photo of endoanera by any chance???

  56. Hello hurt1ng. Your story has touched me, somehow. I have a relationship as well, but I’m afraid she loves me much more than I do, and is willing to do much more than I am.

    She has this heart condition, severe abuse record in her family, severe depression and anxiety disorder. I’m at the verge of falling apart but if there is something that makes me think twice is she.

    Sad part is, I also have some health conditions and my mental condition isn’t helping much. I don’t want this post to become some kind of victimism so I’ll just skip the part where I list the shit that’s going on with me.

    I’m so tired to elaborate anything to anyone. I just wanted peace, but that I cannot have too. My life is a miserable wasted piece of shit.

  57. Hi All, I just found this site on my search for an out. My husband took his life 5 months ago which was 2 days before our 6 month wedding anniversary. I am in agony as so many of you are and I am so sorry that we are all on this site. I witnessed first hand the pain and despair my love was in as he begged me to let him go. He took an overdose and i let him go. Now he is at peace and I am all alone with no one who will help me to get the peace that I allowed him. I had already researched the helium bag and that was my next option. Have tried an overdose but apparently my heart was “too strong” and so I survived. Then I tried playing the “Choking Game” several times and couldnt even pass out! Tried to slit my throat but was too much of a coward. Just so sick of failing and the helium seemed so good. Now Im not so sure. So sorry and sad to hear about poor Endofnaera and the others who managed but so glad for them that they found peace eventually. Why is our society so bad at helping people have some sort of choice over their lives. It angers me that only terminally ill people are classed as the ones to be helped out of their pain. Sureley mental illness and depression which causes us to feel our need to leave this earth and its stigma and the feeling like we need to hide it etc makes our pain even worse in some ways!!! I hope those of you who feel better all the wonderful futures ahead that you want and those of you like me who are finished here and are only asking to be allowed to leave can find that out too. Bless you. xxx

  58. I’m worried it won’t work and il be left disabled or in veggy state. I’ve bought party helium but I don’t know how good it is. I have not yet purchased a suitable bag. I don’t want to screw this up

  59. One reason people are reluctant to approve suicide due to depression is the belief, which may be true or false, that the depression is transitory. The pain one seeks MIGHT be alleviated somehow.

    I was planning on using Vicodin for a final exit, but that didn’t work as Vicodin ended the depression. [Once again government lies about the dangers of a drug. I was a fool to believe them.] So a stumbled around for a while, feeling most delightful, felt asleep and woke up. So here I am 20 years later with my 1/2 V pill twice per day and the government’s cracking down on doctors who prescribe 30 V’s a month. So as my V supply runs low, I’m looking around for another exit.

  60. Scott….fyi I had similar issue. I found it easy to transition to tramadol….works similar to V, but is not technically an opiate, so much easier to buy on-line. One or two a day is enough. However, I still plan on an exit which will probably rely on the trammy (900 mg can cause death….usual pill does is 50mg). I figure to load up on those, and as I get sleepy, will attach helium bag. Hopefully the two together will make for a smooth and peaceful exit.

  61. I was really touched by the intensity or what you wrote. I can almost even find a purpose to life, by wanting to lobby for a right to die. Even the assisted suicide laws, if you live someplace that has it, are too restrictive. Sure, a young person who has a mixed-up perspective about a transitory issue shouldn’t have immediate access to suicide, but for those of us who are looking at aging in a state of poverty and slow decline after a lifetime of fighting intractable depression, it is not wholly unreasonable to give us the ultimate freedom of choosing to end our lives with dignity and peace at a time of our own choosing. I wish you a path to peace when you are ready to embrace it.

  62. I have done much research on dieing peacefully and even to just plain die and ensure death. I am still here. I am disabled and I am in agonizing pain every second of every day. Another day here causes me much suffering. I am now completly alone. My family and loved ones have either passes on or left me. I desperatly want and need a way out of life. I have looked into the helium hood method and it looks fairly simple. I purchased 2 large tanks of helium and have them stored away. The helium hood(bag)was fairly easy to make make, the tubing looks like it will not be the problem. But now I am left with the fittings and I am lost. I am disabled and the little money I do have is strached pretty far so spending 200 from the pphb for fitting and tube is to much for me. from what I know the helium tank has a male thread so the connection would be a female. I purchased a 1/4″ which is to big and 1/8″ which is to small??? I cannot find anything in between. What am I missing? By the way I am looking into brass fittings. Any information would help.

  63. I too want to try this method as previous attempts using opiates and antidepressants gave me nothing but unpleasant stay in hospital, can somebody offer me more information? i have sourced a reasonably priced disposable tank of helium but it does not give much information about capacity just states has enough to fill (50 x 9″) would this be enough as buying a bigger tank add extra cost including a yearly rental price for the cylinder which would make this a pretty expensive way out considering i am struggling enough as is. And what of a flow meter does anyone know are these available online and if so at what price? i am affraid if i cannot afford the full apparatus required i will have to inhale helium directly from the cylinder which pretty much defeats the purpose of wanting to pass peacefully. I hope to hear from someone soon as i know my time is eternal rest if approaching fast.

  64. LostAndAlone91 Did you find peace eventually. I guess I’ll know the answer to that if you don’t reply

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