My own feeling is mostly unclear.
I contemplate everything with the clearest mind yet I can’t figure out what it is that triggers these thoughts. I have no reasons as to why I believe that the grass is greener on the other side of the ground for me. I have no tragedy’s to face, no pain to feel and no place to be. So why do I feel this way? Why do I always feel plagued with just stopping it? I look at life for what it is. I look at death and see it for what its deemed. I contemplate both with the clearest of minds and neither really appeals to me. And by what right do I have to write this? I see all these people, whether it be in the news or just on my street, they deal with so much pain. Such struggle and such troubles yet they are still here. They carry on. They have some sort of drive that I’ve never experienced. Why don’t they feel the way I do? I feel pathetic at times knowing these people can carry on yet I’m considerate of putting myself away without facing any turmoil. There are so many thoughts a wash in my mind spilling dangerously close to the plughole and I can’t help feel they are the most rational I have.
We are all going to die. So why are we forced to live. I just wanna go. Sorry.