It has been almost a year…
Since I lost the man I love.
Since he gave up.
Since my daughter lost the father she never got a chance to meet.
Since he shot himself.
I was six months pregnant with his only child.
She is perfect.
She looks just like him.
But he won’t ever know that.
He is gone.
He has been gone for nine months and twenty-nine days.
It feels like it has been centuries.
I watch the one video clip I have of him just so I don’t forget his voice.
I only have one photo of us together.
I have less than one-hundred photos of him at all.
My daughter will never know her father.
His family wants nothing to do with her.
She reminds me of him every day.
She is seven months old now.
She is growing so fast.
She is the only thing I have to hold on to.
I know he didn’t mean to hurt the people he loved…
But he did.
I know he loved us…
But he’s still gone.
I wish I could have told him how much I loved him…
But we were separated.
We weren’t talking…
Because of one stupid fight.
He ignored me when I tried to fix things with him.
So I gave up.
I left him alone.
I thought we had time to make things right.
Two weeks later…
He was gone.
I never realized how much it hurts to lose someone you love…
Then I lost him.