What if you can’t make a relationship to save your life unless they are paid to do so. Do you really have to be depressed, is that really the only reason why people contemplate suicide? What if not a single relationship, and there are few, even a friendship, and there are few, you were responsible for destroying. What if in every attempt one tries to create a relationship at the most simplest level you mess things up, and not purposefully, in the end, people simple do not like being around you. And after many many years, alone and still dreaming, the only relationship is paid for, but of course they think your swell.
If I might add one other point, if you can’t make a difference, no one will accept your help, no one understands you. And I mean in a sense that no one, absolutely no one really has the patience to do so. What if in the end one is just simply tired of failure, and failure not because of a mood disorder or drugs, but failure because you simply just can’t fit in.
How long do you have to be an odd ball before you can say I quit.
18 comments
Apparently you’re not allowed, because no one will let me quit. I don’t think most people would accept that people like us even exist.
I’m sorry to hear that. How old are you, roughly? Over 30?
I’m an oddball too, so I know what you mean. I tend to get along best with others who are a little different from the rest.
That’s me, the oddball. I’ve bee n trying for decades, and have sucessfully ruined the few friendships I’ve been lucky enough to make, or they simply get tired of me and we drift apart. I can’t fit in anywhere. I’m almost done, can’t do this anymore.
You and me both, I’m a nice fellow, but in someway I freak people out. Most people think I am smart, but I’ve never been promoted in any job I’ve been in. My relationships are so few, I can tell you every intimate detail of them. In short I am stuck in an arrested development. And it is not that someone can’t love me or I don’t feel I am love-able, it is that I can’t create those relationships. Heck, I am not even accepted in the mmo world. I get tired of being rejected, and it is because of being rejected. Which means I have tried and I have failed.
Odd is relative.
Who has the authority to classify anyone anything though, really?
One mans junk is anothers treasure. While something/someone is often classified as odd or normal, it is often based on general acceptance/rejection of an action/situation/person/whatever.
Am I odd because I like to swim at night? Or, are you odd because you like to swim in the daytime. 😉
Have you tried to bond with anyone over common interests (excepting the MMO world)?
@ RenoBill & @bumtan: we all must be clones because I am you & your like me exactly …..unfortunately. All my dates are paid for & my relationship I have/had with family/friends I have singlehandedly destroyed due to me being me. So to say/ask “when to say when”: when I have enough courage to do it. I  guess I’m still a coward to te last act too….fitting since I live like that for 90% of my life.
Travel Well
But to answer the original question….
Call it quits when you are sure you have exhausted all of your possibilities to experience some sort of happiness, feel you have fulfilled any of your obligations dear to you, truly see no hope, have health issues that you know will only deteriorate your life even more.
You will just know when that point comes.
………Thats when to call it quits.
Thats when I will call it quits, and finish the job I fucked up before.
thanks for that response, and before I go on, I am not trying to suggest my situation is special. Please consider old age as really an important issue here. People should give life a try, try every avenue possible to find happiness, love, compassion, joy. But after how many years, when you life is literally living on can food in one bedroom apartment, that is not a joke that is reality. I’ve come to terms with my oddness, and one has to wonder is suicide simple the summation of those terms.
What are your interests, though? It helps if you have something to discuss with others. You don’t sound like an ass, so perhaps you just didn’t have enough to talk about with people? If you met folks who also engaged in your favorite hobbies, you might have gotten on better? Idk.
“you have exhausted all of your possibilities to experience some sort of happiness”, well said. The operative word is possibilities, and I would like to define that as my own ability to create them. Someone said have you tried to bond with someone outside of mmo. Yeah, I think I have, in the end if it’s bowling with group, I am still bowling alone, if it’s improv or acting after the lines are said, there is not much people want to say to me, and I can’t begin to describe the deficit I have with even the simplest of social skills.
So to address the other issue, I don’t know if this is just a pity party, but it is the first time that I have acknowledged quitting as an option.
I completely understand the struggle with even the simplest of social skills.
Um, it’s interesting how many of us are self-proclaimed oddballs.
I don’t have any advice, so I’ll shush now.
thanks for trying.
You express yourself well, so I’m sure it can’t be completely impossible for you to talk with people… 🙁 Maybe you just haven’t met many folks who you can say you ‘connected’ with.
u need to except that u are a loner for life.u have tryed over and over.u are not compadible for keeping human relationships.i would imagine ur personallity plays a large part.tell me if im wrong? i would bet that ur personallity is not attractive unuff for people to build a level of a respectfull bond in realation that keeps them interested in u.adapting to being comfortable with no desire for human relationships is a long process.u cant just force ur brain to stop craveing human companionship.our brains our programed to wanna be social.u need to realize u repeating failure.u dont possess the personality skills.u wan,,but u cant.im not saying u will become a total socialpath.u can still be a good acqaintance in society or make small talk .u gotta start by identifying ur self as a personal person.the process of one going from relying on human relationships to feel good,and changeing to acheiveing contentment with no desire in needing realationships is possible (but i warn it could be deadly)many never survive the process,ending with suicide.it may take years or decades of being regected and betrayed,and suffering depression from hopeless emotion.each persons past experiences differ in this life style evolvation to adapt to being comfortable with no desire for human relationship.but i need to warn u,this process could fail resulting in homicidal or suicidal intentions before successfully changeing permanently to this comfortable,personal new life style.
@cancerpatient
Don’t be so discouraging. 🙁 I believe it is possible to make new friends at any age. One’s friends do not have to be among one’s age group, either.
Be open-minded, be kind, don’t be afraid to express yourself, and you will meet nice people. You have to put forth the initial effort, otherwise folks will think you’re haughty and snobbish. I understand what it feels like to be rejected and have social anxiety, but sometimes, making a little bit of effort in connecting with others can pay off. Others won’t think you’re so ‘scary’ if you greet them with a smile and a cheery ‘hello.’ Charm, even awkward charm, can go a long way. If you always keep to yourself, you’ll never make friends. Personally, I have found that when I show interest in others, that they will generally respond in kind.
I could say you have a creative imagination, but on further thought it could very much be an analytic thought based on a whole lot of assumptions, which means that is exactly how I think.
But I suppose I could accept that I am a loner, but all I know is every time I accept that I will be alone, I am always tempted to try again an I fail, and I have since found myself trying just a little bit less than before.
persephone,ur talking about makeing begining friendships,this is very easy with a little positive effort.what i was talking about in advice to bumtan,is about keeping relationships long term and what to do if u dont possess a personality that people want to stay around and really dig u truely for a long term relationship.