This is what I do to cope, color in my big girl coloring book with my big girl crayons. Do you have something you do that calms your mind in the midst of the storm of life? I have been struggling with dissociation of all sorts since my birthday and my abusers birthday then the holidays – all times I was with him back then when I was a child supposed to have been cherishing the moments with family and playing with cousins. Some people scoff at me and say I just have to forget it. I can’t control flashbacks. I try not to dwell, and I do 99 coping skills to freshen my view. I just can’t get memories to go away forever and if I did, I would be ignoring experiences that molded me, my personality, my loving nature. I suffering pain that is excruciating but I relish in those moments of pure joyous ecstasy and those are the moments that keep me alive throughout the next flashbacks. I still want to hasten my own demise… I just have to distract myself and keep distracting myself. So if you could make my 99 coping skills into 100+ please comment below.
Revised the old and in with a few new. I have some new artwork and poems on my blog http://castingshadowsontomorrow.blogspot.com
I don’t delete those blogs as often as I delete the ones here, but I also don’t take commentary normally on that specific site.
I encourage all of you to try out:
That community has been vital on days when SP was lacking in direction
All these venues have been a great support to me and I thank you for all of your productive comments and suggestions especially most recently elliecats. TY SP