Day 6

January 17th, 2014 by LetItGo

Hi Guys,

Luckily I don’t have school. But that means that I’m just sitting alone in my room. I don’t know what to do with my life… I just. Sometimes I get these awesome happy moods. Like I am REALLY happy. Not a fake happy, but sometimes I get so suicidal. I question my existence. I question my purpose. I question my life. I question life. I question so many things. And then sometimes my friends don’t help and I just don’t know…

So I guess one of my down days are today because I just feel suicidal and down.

On a side note I might not be able to post this weekend. I’m going skiing with my family. Yay! Not really.

So sorry about that. Um I don’t really have much to say… I woke up at 11 am. Talked to someone. Ate breakfast. And now its 1:11.

Maybe tonight I’ll post again.

Here’s your poem:
I cause mistakes.
I cause panic attacks.
I cause so many bad things.
With what I say.
With what I think.
With what I do.
Would it be better?
Would it be better without me?
Would it be better with me not here?
I should go.
I should leave.
I should go somewhere else.

Au Demain

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9 Responses to “Day 6”

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  1. No, you should not go somewhere else. You sound like a beautiful and creative individual who contemplates life bit more deeply than most people. That is a gift and it sets you apart. Focus on the things about yourself that are unique and that bring a smile to yourself and others.

    ps: it is those of us who can sit alone and delve into the deeper mysteries of being human and existing and the purposes of life…those of us who can sit with ourselves and be with ourselves that have the greatest capacity to sit with and be with and understand others….and presence is one of the greatest gifts a person can give to someone….

  2. I do have a deep opinion on life. Sometimes it’s positive and sometimes its negative. Sometimes it’s I live because I live. I live my life to make a change. To live a life without fear. Without regrets. But most of the time my opinion is, Why do I live?

  3. Like Richard Dawkins has said, ” To question the meaning of life or why we exist is like asking what is the color of jealousy.” In short you will never find the answer to the question because the question simply is pointless and does not make sense. Now to question the purpose of your life is different. That’s when you need to decide on what you feel is necessary to do in your life to feel however you need be.

    You say you question so many things but your friends don’t help so you don’t know? So your friends are suppose to have the answers and guide the direction of your life. These questions are not for anyone else except yourself.

    I think you should enjoy the time with your family and be appreciative of the fact that you actually get to go skiing with your family. Have fun, let loose and don’t worry about leaving this website for a few days. A few days away from here will probably help get your mind of some things. Be a kid for once your too young to be over analyzing things and making yourself depressed. Trust me there’s a lot more room for that when you become older and understand things a bit better, not that I’m saying you don’t.

  4. Hello LetitGo! i was very excited to see what you were going to post today! You should always question yourself in good times and bad. If not you may stagnate in life and settle for what is comfortable. Try not to ever get trapped in a comfort zone. Get out this weekend, go skiing and have fun!

  5. Sometimes I get these rushes. Rushes of inspiration. Of excitement. To start something. To change. But others. It’s not so good. Its rushes of suicidal thoughts. Of how I would die. Or kill myself.

  6. I know it’s going to be good for me to leave. I guess that’s why I love skiing. It’s the thrill of going down the slopes just raising my hands and not worrying or carrying, but sadly each slope has a bottom. Each slope has an end. Where the worries start. Yes I get that I am too young to over analyze things… But I just do.

  7. Each slope may have an end but who cares about the bottom. Enjoy the climb up and the ride down. When you reach the bottom you have the choice to climb back up and enjoy the fun again.

    I understand you like to question things. Don’t get me wrong that is extremely brilliant and it helps you define who you are and what your values/ideologies may be. But when does the questioning stop and the living begin? You say you get rushes of inspiration to change then do it. Find that hippy or pasttime. People who question and think outside the confines of the box make wonderful artist.

    You seem to recognize the problem but it seems like you intentionally put yourself in these bad situations such as thinking of suicide. Why?

  8. I mean hobby and past time not hippy lol

  9. Why?
    Because I really don’t know why… I have hobbies and past times. But sometimes that’s not enough to distract me…

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