how to share with a friend ?

January 17th, 2014 by TheGlassChild

Hey guys. I need some advices here. I know at the end it’s totally up to me but I don’t know, maybe you could help.

I’ve been feeling very very down the last 3 weeks. I was really giving up about life. I did post something about this not long ago. Somehow, yesterday, I found the strengh to tell a friend that I needed to talk. We talked a little bit by text message and I asked if she could find time to meet in real person to talk. And she said yes. Seriously, I know Im not lucid now ’cause I’m hurt and it was just text messages, but I felt like I was forcing her to do this.

She is one very close friend but I’ve been having trouble with her for a few months now. Mostly because it’s the only friend i really have for now (i have other friends, but they all live far away).  Her schedule is filling itself very quickly lately, and she doesn’t really have time for me anymore. She met her boyfriend 2 months ago too, so she’s in love and not much available.

I really am better than you would think, about giving her space, but now, you know I miss her…

So she told me we could talk tonight. But this morning she also told me she only would be available for 3 hours, cause she’s having diner with her boyfriend at 7:30. She is the one who convinced me to try and talk about stuff, that it would help me, and I decided to trust her, and talk with her. I was planning on telling her everything. Like… every little detail that hurts me in my life. I’m really anxious about it, cause really, I never share my feeling with anybody, I just hate it and I feel like people are expecting me to be stronger than I am, when they know how I feel.

So now… I’m wondering… do I tell everything, really. She got limited time apparently… and i don’t feel free. And I was thinking I could tell her about my suicidal thoughts, and I don’t know if I really should. I’m afraid she will think I just need attention or maybe it will hurt her cause her mother tried to kill herself twice. I don’t wanna hurt her. I don’t want pitty from her either. I just thought maybe talking about it would force me to be stronger, because lets face it, she might try to keep an eye on me after that. I don’t want her to force me to seek medical help though… and I’m afraid I won’t be able to end my life later, if I ever fall down again.

I don’t know. What should I tell her, really ?

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8 Responses to “how to share with a friend ?”

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  1. Sadly I have to say that it’s all about the way you tell her these things, rather than what you tell her. I’d say it’s probably best if you tell her everything, sometimes you just need a person to sit and listen to you ramble on. And a good friend will sit there and take it.

    Yes, she will keep an eye on you if you tell her about suicidal thoughts, especially as a person who’s nearly lost a mother to suicide, she won’t be able to stop that. But ask yourself if that’s really a bad thing?
    Maybe she will put in a little more time for you and you won’t feel as lonely anymore?

    As to what you should tell her, just drop your walls and open the floodgates. Once you get going you’ll find things to say, I promise :) the hardest part is starting ^^

  2. I would say you need to talk to her. Tell her everything and stress that you don’t want attention you just want to feel better and you don’t know what to do.

    You seem like you have a level head so that’s a good start =)

  3. Talking about it is good. Just with who is the thing. :-)

  4. Thank you ravanys. Really.

    I agree it will be all about the way I tell her things.

    I know that she feels like her mother tried to kill herself to keep her around. Now she (my friend) is forcing herself to visit her every week, cause she’s scared that her mother will try again if she don’t come and visit. It’s like an emotional hell for her to go and visit her every single week, so I wouldn’t want her to see it that way for me too. How do I talk about suicide with her and avoid her to feel like I want to control her ?

  5. Well, that’s I’m worried about HealingInHisWings… Maybe it’s not the right person for this… but i can’t see who would be able to stand it. Well, except you guys ;)

  6. Well, I don’t know the person you’re going to talk to, but would saying that that’s not necessary help?
    and how about not telling her straight up ‘I feel suicidal’ or ‘I’m thinking of killing myself’ but something more along the lines of ‘life seems so pointless’ or ‘ why do I even live’
    It might help with distracting her just enough to care but don’t obsess.

    It’s a very personal thing though, so you should be the judge on how to handle it :/

  7. you’re right, I’ll start with other stuff, and see how it’s going. I was planning to talk about suicide at the end only anyway, but I got stressed out about the 3 hours. I don’t even know if I’ll have time to get there in 3 hours, I feel like i have a whole life to share.

    Thank you all, you guys helped !

  8. If you don’t get it all out of your hart, you should tell her that you hadn’t really said everything and you too should talk again :)

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