Hey guys.. My name’s Dynna and I am a gamer girl ever since I’m 10.
My dad is fine with this fact and he understands me as my personality is very similar to his. He knows I’m crazy for drawing and playing video games and tried to give space for my activity as long as I helped with chores. My mother, however, does not. She doesn’t understand me. She always thought that a lady have to be proper lady. I hate expansive blouses. I hate dresses and I hate handbags. They’re a handful for me.
Today, I was playing a shooting game called Freefall Tournament with my little sister. Then my mother, like usual asked me to help with the weeds and fertilizer in the garden. I did everything she told and then I went to play my games. After that she asked me to water the plants. I asked her nicely if I could water them at night and she approved. So I aimed to water the plants as agreed. Out of nowhere she yelled at me and forced me to water the plants and I argued with her,  saying it’s hot outside and I have always. Yes, ALWAYS,  water them at night cause it’s colder. Out of nowhere she cursed me, saying I’m a lazy ***** and telling me to go and die.  I was stunned..
How could she said such a terrible thing to me.. I’m going back to college on Wednesday and she told me to die! I don’t mind her scolding me but to tell me to die..?
Do I want to live any longer? I don’t know.. I love my mother. . I hope that she would regret what she said. I don’t mind if she doesn’t want to apologise,  but I want her to know I love her.. and I want her to love me back.. that’s all that I need. .
I don’t know how to tell her about this.  So I just want to share my story that had me killed deep inside. .
29 comments
I dont think I ever met a girl who didnt like a purse. lol
You sure about that? lol
About your mom, I’m sure it was just a mistaken and mean comment that she really didnt mean.
Give her some time.
I know you are hurt about it, but don’t take it seriously. She might have had her own stress at the time you dont even know about it, and sometimes words slip out.
Good luck.
^^^ I don’t like purses lol. Just use ur freaking pockets lol
I agree with WIG, just give her some time and maybe she will come around to apologizing. People say stupid things that they don’t mean when there angry, and I’m pretty sure she still loves you. She probably is stressed out from something else and maybe taking her anger out on you.
I would just say to avoid more confrontation I would just say prioritize to get all your chores done and do a little extra just to show added effort so people won’t have to nag you all day. Then you’ll have the rest of the day for some COD Ghost or BO2 if your a Treyarc fan 0_o!
If its still bothering you what she said give her some time and let her know what she said did hurt your feelings. Also take pride and be yourself. Don’t feel the need to conform to what people want you to be, you will be much happier in life doing what makes you happy and straying away from the sheep! 🙂
Dear Dyyna,
You need to address this at once with your mother. Be calm and ask to speak with her about that statement. If you carry this around with you it will only fester within and be a cause for you to allow more hurt into your life. ( if my own mom wants me to die then…….) Please, be patient with your mom, she just has misguided frustrations that she took out on you. If you two sit down and talk this through, more than likely you two will build an even stronger relationship.
Confronting irrational people regarding their abusive outbursts, can be a mistake.
On the other hand, it would also be a mistake to allow someone to put something hurtful into your psyche, and then willingly keep it inside, where it will continue to poison your thoughts.
If you confront an irrational person, it can be disastrous.
If you refrain, you’re bearing an undeserved burden inflicted upon you by an irrational person.
You’ll have to use your own judgment of her character, to determine what you think is the best choice in your situation. But from my perspective on the matter, neither choice will be easy, and only the confrontation carries the potential for resolution. Avoiding that confrontation may be less abrasive for you and her, but it will likely hurt you more in the long run.
Let me start by saying – your mother was waay wrong to say such a thing – but as said above by wifeisgone, it’s likely not meant literally. I get the impression your mom has a lot of pent up frustration or she is bipolar … or maybe both.
some moms want their female offspring to take after them and be their girlie girl bestie. By your own description, you tend to take after your father and be a bit more of a tomboy. Nothing wrong with that at all … but maybe your mom just want to find some way to “connect” with you in a way that she sees herself. See if there is some common interests you have that you can do together to rebuild a healthier relationship … or at least a hobby/project that she loves that you could tolerate to make her happy and feel connected.
It may not be fair that it becomes up to you to be the mature one in the relationship but it sounds like that may be what is required here. But reciprocal love requires more than just doing basic chores when asked – although you should be commended for doing so 🙂
parental dawg
I think some old-fashioned minds tend to see the endeavor of video gaming as “choosing fantasy over reality,” (where have we seen that concept before?) which then gets extrapolated to “doesn’t want to live in the real world,” which then becomes “would rather not live.” So to simplify: “gamers would rather not live.” In which case, it becomes… abstractly rational-ish, for her to say “well then just go die!” because she has arrived at this false conclusion that playing video games must mean you’d rather die than live (the life she has imagined for you).
But it’s still wrong, and it probably did come from misdirected frustration. And it’s still somewhat irrational, and i have no idea what you should expect in a confrontation scenario, aside from plenty of discomfort, and probably some yelling and crying.
I understand people could say anything bad when they are really pissed off at something
But seriously who the fuck call their kid lazy *****… and tell them to die.. like who the fuck man..
Unless they r freaking high with some pot or something.
dude… pot? No stoned parent is going to say that. They’d be like “oh, yeah, it’s like, coool, maaannn… you can do it laaaterrrr… it’s all good! Do we have any doritos???”
An alcoholic parent, on the other hand… is quite likely to say outrageously abusive things. I’ve seen this many times.
@CL – yeah right? LOL
@buttless – i “get” you point … but everyone utters some stupid regrettable statement once in a while … the original poster suggests this is more of a “one-off” culmination of a long frustration. Around here there are a lot of visitors who here such trash on a daily basis from super shitty “parents” … i don’t get the impression this is one of those cases
clarification dawg
I’m pretty sure I hate purses.. I’d prefer using my pocket.
Thanks for your kind words. .!
Did you address your mother about this today?
Thank you everyone. .! For your opinion and thoughtful words.
I cried myself to sleep and I could feel my eyes being sore..
To Kogi- I’d rather play Dead Space 3 or Battlefield 3 rather than COD ^^ it’s too buggy.
Not yet. She’s at work
Have you wrote down your thoughts or are you just going to speak from the heart?
I will just speak from the heart and hopefully I won’t say anything stupid. .
Excellent! Try to stay away from attack or hostile words. Focus on the feelings of pain and hurt you felt today as you cried yourself to sleep. You are a brave young lady!
Excellent! Try to stay away from attack or hostile words. Focus on the feelings of pain and hurt you felt today as you cried yourself to sleep. You are a brave young lady!
Thank you..!
I found out she didn’t even bother to fold my clothes anymore. .
She just dumped them in front of my bedroom door as if they’re trash..
Even if she doesn’t want to do it, she could have been a bit nicer. .
It’s like I’m a pathetic person that doesn’t deserve her love..
I’m jealous of my little sisters and my older sister. .
Mom never used the term ‘die’ to them..
Yet.. I received it.. first hand. .
My mother use to tell me i was not her child and go threat my own mother that way(i am adopted). I had a real difficult time loving after that. I still do. Misguided frustrations play a huge part with people and saying things that hurt. When you explain to your mom your frustrations, ask here to tell you about her’s
@ Dynna, COD is a bit buggy with lots of campers but good call on BF3, that game is actually better than COD not to mention the sheer size of the maps.
But when you do talk to your mum please be careful. You also are not a pathetic person. Trust me have dealt with this issue many of times, hell by the age of 16 I was already kicked out of my house. I know how it feels to be treated/abused by parents and its very unfair.
Yeah I would just talking to her and inform her that she shouldn’t say those things.
She doesn’t even want to look at me.
Let alone talk..
I feel so worthless. .
Kogi – haha. Yeah BF3 rules ^^
Dynna- Hey how are you today? I would just say give her a few days to cool off, its hurts I know but she might come around to talking. Trust me I am dealing with the same thing, my mom told me last night she wants me out and literally told me to go kill myself…..
Hey my mother don’t even admit that i’m her daughter. I hate her anyway 🙂
Hey. I’m Dynna’s only older sister. Just to tell you here that, I’m sorry that all this happened. More sorry that I can’t be there. All your life, mom has always preferred me over you because I am very much similar to her. Remember when I was caught being gay? I got it bad back then. And I was able to handle it all because you were always there, and I am really really thankful for that. And I wanted to tell you that I always have your back and I will always love you no matter what people think of you.
Mom is like that because she can’t relate to you and we can’t blame it on her, don’t we? It’s not her fault that she’s a noob at games and stuff. Lol.
Even if you are different, you are perfect just the way you are. Don’t change to satisfy people. Mom should be able to understand once she sees you be successful and happy and contented with your life. Hell, just be mediocre and happy, and she will get you then.
So, yeah. I love you. And there are so many people here that is kind and nice. Please don’t die. Don’t dieeee~ Okay. Bye love.
Your sister is amazing, her words are so well articulated, her thoughts are clear and she loves you! This should be reason to not want to die in itself. So is awesome to have a giant like this in your life! Is there an update to this post?
What about your dad? or no…like would he talk?
my dad isn’t even around me anymore..