A weird and fucked up life

March 10th, 2014by missingryanandericand...

I start most weekends with drinking a bottle of wine, then I have another one and then another. I take a few Xanax and a Vicodin or two. Next thing I know its Monday morning and time to go to work again. When I don’t do that I do meth so I can forget about my life. Yet every Monday I get cleaned up and go back to my job that pays me 300k a year. Three of my friends have killed themselves. I have tried at least twice. Now days I rather dull things with liquor and Xanax or meth. So I can get up and make it to work Monday to Friday. I promised myself I wouldn’t be like them. I wouldn’t give up. I wouldn’t leave it to my friends to pick up my remains and bury my life. Yet sometimes I wonder, perhaps this is the weekend to do it. I came close once, but I ended up at the airport and on the first international flight out the country. After 17 hours in first class I arrived in India. What a fucked up place that is. After watching people step over dying kids in the street I realized that for what ever its worth I will wake up every fucking Monday morning and go to work. I donate to charities, I donate to people I know that are in need and in trouble. I stumble through this fucked up life alone and lonely, knowing Im just one fuck up away from the end. How fucked up is that?

Processing your request, Please wait....
Do not report posts older than 1 week old,
because we will not take action on them.
In other words -- check the date before wasting your time and ours.
Also, please do not use this form as a comment reply -- it is not.