All time low…

March 2nd, 2014by Andrei

Yeah,title says it all…I think I have reached an all time low.I’m at the point where I’m scared of being happy.I’m scared,because I know I’ll only be happy for a brief period of time,then I’ll fall even harder.It’s always like this.The thing is,this happiness comes purely from random mood swings.There’s nothing that I do that makes me happy,it just happens.It lasts like 5-10 minutes,then it’s back to reality,and every time it hits harder.I also dread doing stuff to make me forget about everything,because no matter what I do,I end up remembering those things at one point or another,and that’s when it strikes even harder than usual.I don’t know what to do anymore…Is cutting a good idea?I heard that it relieves the pain,but I don’t really want scars on my body,because then I have to deal with the pressure of hiding them…but if it will really make it better,I’m willing to try.

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