People facing “willing” death always tremble before jumping in front of train or from a building. Even it is sure, fast and free of charge. Then some maybe try to provide themselves a little bit of privacy in their last moments, but gazing in the eyes of death with strangulation or hanging (maybe newbies trying cutting and pills) that is really scary, even if your will to die is strong.
Yesterday tried hanging, after quite planning, found nice strong easily accessible tree in an abandoned forest (which is feat on its own) and that stupid rope teared itself up. I am no light weight, but tried the rope beforehand, made nice 12 loops to gain swiftly broken neck, but no – when I finally had time and conditions it failed. Again.
I float in the world of suicide from my 16, when I first tried at least 200 pills. Of course, at those times I had no idea that it won’t work, except making oneself sick for 3 days. Tried cutting (could not do the job), more strong pills and sleeping pills, strangulation (scary as hell to a person who cries tears of boredom from horrors – even those real-lived) and trying to act normal in my life as time went by. It is given nobody in my family or friends had any idea about my dreams to end everything.
I pay respect to life, even in nowadays mostly worthless society, there are still good people and there is still a chance to live meaningfully. Â However, since I know the facts, I see I am not able to live. Those who truly Know their departing from the world, is not for mood swingers, but for those whose situation only will get worse and worse. Like mine. Everybody has their story and unbreakable reasons…
So why not to try it in a couple, I know I wouldn’t be able to handle it alone – like jumping from a building, but with someone it may be done. I have considered helium kit, but since I am short on money and in my country it is hardly available and read about failures does not give one hope…
Now I am 23, last three years living on the edge, about today I am going to have a feast and tomorrow I end it all with good feeling, but yeah, since my rope failed, wonder where I can find another three and jumping from it and maybe break something this time, not just sore sole and small back, not to mention choking.
So your “get down to business” opinions or maybe someone is selling their helium exit for low price 😉 ….
I really doubt there are people who do want to die alone and why there are few couple suicides. You are going to die with a plan, so why not to have last few days with someone who can help, really understand and foremost it won’t be lonely…
Yes, even in those last minutes people tend to hope that maybe some wonder and happiness will fall in their days, or maybe someone find them, stop them and mend them beyond possible. I always wanted for somebody to see me without demonstration, some savior with supernatural abilities (not cheap psychologists and “smart-ones”) to heal and helped me stand up – even when my relives had no such thoughts about me,  but still… it is better then Assisted suicides.
(Excuse my English)
Si
26 comments
If it’s so easy to find partner why haven’t you done it yet?
In what part of the world do you live?
bullfrong@ Central Europe.
dredd@ It is not, that’s what I’m typing about. Anybody that really consider dying is afraid to do it alone, yet prefer keep it to her/himself. Nobody is willing to trust strangers in such fragile situation. But with my tries and fails I am past the point and simply get the job done in the most comfortable way.
So what are you going to do?
I’ve used ropes to pull cars, tie to boats, pulling large rocks, pull down trees and I’ve never had one break or tear it’self up. Someones trying to tell you sumpt’n Onx.slub Time to start listening.
Randall are you onto religious bullshit?
If Randall is into what you term “religious bullshit” that’s his right, isn’t it?
It is his right but I wonder what he’s trying to tell us.
Obviously he’s saying God might be telling Onyx he should live, and not give up and kill himself, and that Onyx should listen.
Or maybe she just picked a really shitty rope. I’m sure if a an omnipotent and omniscient deity would want to tell us it would use a different means of communication. And suggesting that breaking ropes is best it could come up with IS crazy.
Yeah, ropes breaking is kind of a stretch. Anything around the 1/2″ size should really be more than enough to hold a person’s weight. It’s a scary way to go, especially when. the panic sets in! Your sur vi val instinct is your innerbeing telling you to hang on. You can’t ignore it, but you can fight it until the struggle is over. I’m sure the omnipresent being will be ready for your soul no matter how things end
You are talking about the one who knew she was gonna commit suicide before she was born and created all diseases on the planet?
There’s a few schools of thought on that. Some believe that we are predestined to do certain things and the omnipresent only gives you what you can handle. But if it was omnipresent/omnipowerful I doubt there’s be a miscalculation in pushing people to the edge.
But then there’s the others that feel your held accountable for every sin committed
. So living a sinful life, which is impossible, equals some undesirable backlash in the eternity of afterlife. I always wondered if sin exists in the afterlife, more so can it be created?
So your think god is torturing people?
I don’t believe such an idea exists.
A child dies of hunger every 4 seconds while omnipotent being is watching. Explain that.
Maybe the omnipotent wants them in heaven.
Is that your justification for a painful death by hunger which can take months?
But what is a few months compared to eternity?
Are you serious?
Haven’t you noticed that God works in mysterious ways?
I’ve read too many stories of the suicide partner backing out. It’s bad enough to be suffering each and every day… It would be ten times worse if the person who was part of the solution to end the suffering backed out. Personally, I’d like to have someone go with me but I don’t see it happening.
For whatever reason, my last comment went to moderation.
I do want a suicide partner and in my case I am so disabled that a partner would be necessary. However, good luck finding somebody. I’m sure there are thousands of disabled people out there that, like me, are only hoping for death, but we are isolated away from each other in homes, institutions and hospitals, and few of us can get suicide supplies.
I also have heard some horror stories of fake suicide partners that would show up at your house, rob you and run away. It’s hard to trust a stranger with such serious business. And then there’s the matter- what if one of you accidentally survives? They’ll charge that one with murder.
There should just be clinics, voluntary suicide clinics. I wish I could just build one myself.
ouch, it looks like this post turned into religious comments.
I doubt I will find some partner, even if there are many available and willing to do it together. I guess I live too far… anyway, my rope was made from finger-thick cord, I tried the strength many times before, maybe it rip itself because of cold – I was in the woods at the beginning of the March, after all. Or my drop was too forceful, pity it would surely break my neck at the instant.
Either way I found a compression method in the evening. It looks promising but too similar to strangulation. Now I only need to search most of the internet for hints and see how it unwinds itself. I tried it with fingers and I felt dizzy pretty fast.
The only concern is when your strength leaves you and your body starts to trash around (silly primal survival instinct), if the cord/rope/nylon will survive it and will carry the job out to the end.
Waking up with a killing headache and severely damaged brain and throat is not my aim…
I can see why many prefer hanging – it is faster, but depends only on a second. And as I found out the hard way, the rope, the tree, the location, the weather are important to the dot. While this I can manage in my closet before spending nice time and dressed neatly without leaves in my hair. It just requires practice and the right mood.
I will try it in Friday, so keep your fingers crossed.
Si.
distant.road, which is why finding partners is only for ‘dead’ serious.
I doubt someone with severe suffering and thinking about suicide for years and years and attempted fails (not only thoughts, but real try-outs) would back out.
Try rob someone, sure I would be temped to steal a gun from someone, but there are grave mistakes. So trying jumping from a building, helium method or passing out in the car look peaceful and sure.
I joked to find my personal killer. But I despise violence and doubt he/she would break my neck fast and that would be all, no sharp objects, no choking, no raping… Oh, well… one can dream, when facing the Death alone is so frightening after so many mornings waking up and thinking – “Sh*t, I survived… Again.”
It is quite funny considering I have ‘some’ health problems so my body should be inclined to die swiftly and effortlessly, but I guess, it doesn’t want to go without pain and looong years…