I always thought of changing my life style and everything, before beginning of something big like college, job. I tired my best to fit in to there college lifestyle, I did make a lot of friends i was happy but after few weeks something happened i don’t know what all of a sudden everyone started to think of my as clown, Started picking on me but i didn’t say a word against them and that made things even worse, which made me talk of the town literally as i live in a town. you see the same faces everyday. which gave people the opportunity to talk shit behind my back. I can fell people just laughing over me and the memories of how i did this to myself haunts me every night. My GPA everything relating to Academic went to subzero levels. I don’t understand myself why cant ignore them but the more i try to endure it the deeper it cuts. Funny thing is that the people you trusted, Are becoming a burden like my teacher and parents. the one who has to stop bullying inside the campus encourages it. As my teacher, parent everyone knows whats happening with me and what I’m going through. on top of that i have to plan my future i always wanted to do music but i don’t know any instruments to play as my parents know that i love music so they didn’t gave me any money to hire a tutor or to got to classes. As music careers are not that financially rest assured.but when i always woke up from my bed i feel like never going out of my house and my parents are upset im so frustrated about how fix all this realizing that i can never fix it, feeling like suicide is the answer but i kept on hanging  for something or someone help me to get through this hell.i know its not right to ask for help or involve someone in to problems. anyways this is my last shot and im done with this
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That doesn’t sound nice. I grew up on a small town so i can relate to most of what you are saying. I was regularly picked on due to several things (shyness and feing overweight at the time didn’t help). When i entered college i started changing those around but it made little difference. People would still see me as the shy ackward person i was, because i projected that to them in a way. Funny enough, i always loved music and my family was not supportive either.
What i’m getting at is that if you are not comfortable with yourself it’s likely people might notice it. Start worrying about what you like, what you want to do with your life, because it’s yours to live and you can reach a point of regret sooner than you think. It’s a good idea to study something that gives you money to live and do what you like on the side, since like you said, music doesn’t give you a good living unless you are really talented or lucky (or both). But as i said, the point is you are fine with it, your friends and parents won’t get to live your life, you do.