He said he’d never leave me. When he left, he said he’d never be with someone else. He said I was the only he’d ever want, but that he couldn’t handle my mood swings. He left. He has still been texting me here and there playing with my heart and giving me false hope. The other day I got a text from his number calling me a *****, a filthy whore, and so many other names. It was his girlfriend apparently. He had moved on..I am so destroyed. I feel so empty and dead. She was telling me to leave him alone and said that he told her all about me. She said he couldn’t stand me. Just the day before..he was telling me he loved me. I wonder if she knows that. They have only been dating for a week and he is so pathetic..I wish I didn’t love him. She told me she was going to bash my face in if I didn’t stop texting him. I didn’t know I was even doing anything wrong. Everything always seems to be my fault these days. I don’t know what to do. I feel like he is making her up to hurt me because he has done things like that before, but what it the point? What if she is real and I am nothing to him anymore? It makes me sick to think about it. I can’t get it off of my mind. I am so lost and I can’t find my way. I told her that if she wanted to fight me or hurt me in any way that she could and that I wouldn’t fight back because I want to die. I feel like I deserve to feel pain. I don’t want pity or for anyone to feel sorry for me. I just want this to end and for all of these miserable thoughts and feelings to go away.
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3 comments
“A ***** is a *****”. Well, in the words of NWA anyway.
It has some truth to it in regards to your sitch as well, since the new girl is obviously doing her best to get on your nerves. Long story short: move on and do not let this old wound fester and turn into an infection that’ll destroy you in time to come. He’s moved on and so should you, even if you just take a step back.
Forget him! He clearly doesn’t deserve you. The other girl will probably fall into the same trap that you did. Don’t be quick to find another boyfriend, that will only cause more conflict and tears. If you are afraid of this new girl, start training your muscles. If you are tougher than she is than you have nothing to worry about. Be careful about choosing a new boyfriend, make sure he is not playing you and that he really has feelings for you.
Break contact with your ex. It is the only way forward.
I am not trying to belittle your problems, but the whole “they said they’d never leave me” and “they’d never want anyone else” is the story of every heartbreak that has ever happened. I say that not to make your problem seem small but to let you know that you are far from alone. Millions of people have been told those lies before. I don’t know why life seems so good at mismatching people, it seems there are a bunch of us out there who could say those types of things to someone we love and actually mean it, and then there’s the people who say stuff like that because they think that’s what they’re supposed to say, and they have no problem changing their mind. Seems like the good people always get matched up with the bad and get their hearts broken.
Just don’t keep this drama going, it’s not going to make things any better. If he is with someone else now then let them be. Show that you’ll be the one to have some integrity. If his new gf tries to harass you anymore, just don’t answer. Don’t talk to him anymore or allow him to talk to you. Block him, he has no reason to be in your life anymore. Don’t think silly things like maybe some day he’s gonna text that he’s sorry or misses you. You may still be holding on to some thread of this person in your memory who used to exist and entertain thoughts that maybe he’ll come back. But the reality is telling you something different, the person who said he would never want someone else is currently with someone else. Don’t be in denial about it. The person you thought you had is gone. Let yourself grieve, you can’t start to heal until you accept that it’s over.
I’ve had my heart broken many times and sometimes I let entire years of my life go by before I started to feel better. It’s hard to move on. The best thing to do is go into an extreme self protection mode. Stop the contact, accept what happened, and take care of yourself. You will find someone else, believe it or not. Time needs to pass for the pain to heal. The wound never starts healing if you keep ripping it open by allowing them to mess with you.