I’m sorry about all the things I did in my “youth”. I made the stupid decision to push you away back when SP chat was so popular. I made a stupid comment saying I committed a grotesque thing that meant I would get banned from that community and sort of shunned. It was for the better, although only because I was on the chat for far too long. I bet it’s either dead now or only 2 or three people left on there.
I can’t think of all the names of my old friends of whom I miss dearly, but yet somewhere in my mind your names are lit up. Maybe a stone with names engraved and highlighted on them. These names include: Dawn, orangish, custard, kali, dawg, Amber, lost_thn_you_die, soup, and a bunch of others. The good ole’ SP members of whom I miss, now all I see is new faces and it makes me a little sad that maybe you are all gone, but also a bit glad if you moved on from the depression and found survival, maybe even happiness. You all deserve it. Even the new faces, remember time may seem like its your enemy now but when you endure it, it will look like so little time  when you look back on it. I was depressed for at least five years, I may not be free from the depression, but yet I’ve made fairly good progress, finally having self-confidence.
So to my old friends… To my family in the SP community, I’d like to say Hello and that I ha e survived. And also I love you all.
23 comments
All these people are still active here except Amber Lost and Soup, there is a new chat now, also. It’s called youwontregretthis, and you can talk to all those people again..
Nice comment. Aren’t you also known as Mysterious Stranger? I could be wrong, I forget. I only read your comments and posts for a short time, but you always seemed to be dead on the money with what you were saying. People seemed to follow you and look forward to what you had to say. I know I did. I’m glad to hear you’re making improvements away from depression. Hope you keep moving on that path.
Yup, we’re all sorry about things we did in our youth. Now I have to look forward to being sorry about things I did in old age! Crazy life…always feeling not good enough…sorry for this and that. Hang in and hope to see more from you.
I’m glad I made such a great impression on everyone. Possibly because I’m moving away from whining about life and instead focusing on more important aspects in life. I may have used that name on ****** but besides that no not really. I went by many names on there. Randall, you have the same name as someone hat went awol recently. You aren’t in the army are you?
you forgot good ole khajiit 🙁 rogue. you were the first friend I had on sp it’s great hearing from you 🙂 will type a longer response when I get on a computer
He’s not The Mysterious Stranger you’re referring to, Randall.
Also:
Toast to the old guard of SP.
Hey Rogue,
I don’t know if you remember my name? Geez, it’s been four years or so since I first joined SP. It’s nice to see a familiar name though, even if you don’t remember me.
I hope you’re keeping well buddy.
has it really been 2 years for me? Jesus
Time seems to pass so quickly, huh?
The hard part is being in the present moving forward its far easier to look back and say whoa look at the time.
@rogue, im glad to hear your feeling better, its always nice to hear from another old timer. Something you should do is read your oldest posts (i wish id kept all of mine) just so you can see how far you have come, be proud of yourself man, not everyone gets as far ad you have.
peace.
Englishboy: You’re name has some sort of familiar air to it but sadly not enough to remember you completely. Although I mm terrible with names. I still talk to nobody and dawn and um forgot her username but have her on fbook.
I’m not even chronically depressed, i just have little to do and this place occupies my time. Rarely a funny post comes along for me to derive entertainment from or a good juicy post for me to vomit my opinion on. All of the friends that I am intimately close with have come from SP (or more specifically the infamous chat room) This place has changed my life astronomically. I’ve learned so much from reading the intelligent posts that delve into the complex, controversial psychology and philosophy that the concept of suicide retains. The people here have changed my life through celebration and friendship as well as nadirs of conflict and drama. I hate SP in general as it’s incredibly redundant and annoying, there is almost no more intellectual discussion and this place has turned into a cesspool of adolescent bitching.
I remember way back when when I met Rogue and Dawn, I was close with them for a while. Remember when you ShatteredGlass and Puppet used to cam on TC and you guys would cut? lol those were the emo times. I don’t know what happened to Dawn but I’d love to know, I’ve been on multiple hiatuses from the chat room and have no idea where many of the users have gone.
It really is great seeing you Rogue, i can’t believe how long it’s been. I hope others will forgive you for what happened and will accept you back into the “family”, you definitely had a spot there. I hope you’re doing better, I remember when you were afraid of joining the military and now you’ve done it and I’m so happy to see you don’t regret it 🙂 We neeeddddd to catch up, it’s been forever. Hope you’re doing well 🙂
I don’t necessarily regret joining, although its not my place to stay.
As for dawn she recently got pregnant and is keeping the child, I’ll kik you the details. I remember puppet, I dont think i would necessarily cut since it really wasnt my thing, never really helped me cope but they were the days. I kinda want to be a be able to talk on tinychat again and screenshot our “SP family” while im in uniform kind of a before and after shot kind of thing. I missed you dearly as you always seemed to be so intelligent and respectable. Like a role model or a best friend, maybe even now that I’m more intelligent and mature a sister now 😀 (w/o the creepy incest crap I’ve been cursed with)
No worries – I did sit in the shadows a little during my time on here.
I’m terrible with names too, but I do remember the old times with the SP regulars. The only names I remember now is yours Rogue and a girl under the name Crying.. I don’t know what happened to any of them though.
@Procel: I’ve done that, but it always makes me hate the you ger me as I still remember the thoughts, and my way of thinking and if my current mindset was that of back then, I would have realized life wasnt that bad. Depression tends to make you overexaggerate and your tolerance to bullshit and misfortune is so low you tend to cry and whine about a bad day. And a bad day tended to be a day where I’m feeling shitty and 3 or more bad things happen throughout the day no matter how many good things happen.
So i say the old me is spoiled, whiny, annoying, pessimistic, and so many derogatory terms but I guess thats normal.
ive only been here a few days and already SP has helped me more than any psychiatrist or councillor I dont know any of you but I hope that may change
Killmealready97: I’ll try to get on more often, and hopefully we can help you out a bit just like this place helped many of us, since this place is awesome. Although we had a few people who made things hard. We endured Sumer’s child porn and russian propaganda, “the oancu incident” qnd a few ofhers
yeah ive only made a few posts but I actually feel like people care even though no one else in my life even notices me anymore
I don’t even know what I’m doing with my life, I’ll give you a quick synopsis if you were interested (if not just ignore lol)
I got put on a myriad of different medications over the years including risperidone, lamictal, adderall and prozac (the most recent) I’ve been in and out of psychiatric treatment (all which has done me no good at all) and barely getting by for the last year or so. Recently I’ve met a few friends that have turned my life around through their constant support, love and encouragement. The Prozac has been a miracle for me, I used to have incredibly debilitating social anxiety but now I enjoy talking and do it excessively lol. I’m hopeful for the future, looking forward to becoming more social as being social is an integral part of me and fundamental to my happiness. I haven’t thought much about the future and it’s still pretty nebulous. I’ve decided to not go to college and instead become a homeless vagabond wandering around and just experiencing life in its unpredictable nature and beauty.
I’ve been on and off with the user ShatteredGlass and recently ever since the absence of my social anxiety we’ve clicked incredibly well and I’m optimistic that our relationship will continue to build. We both had a lot of issues that impeded on our prior attempts to have a steady relationship but now we both finally see eye to eye and are willing to work out our issues together. I don’t think he uses SP much anymore, but if he’s reading this, you the bestest nigga 😉
Not much in my life has changed in terms of lifestyle, I still do nothing all day but I don’t dwell in depression anymore. I’m actually a very happy person right now, I love humans in general (as opposed to my prior deep misanthropy) and am optimistic for the future of humanity and life in general. I love the Earth and life in general, there are so many amazing aspects of it and I’m looking forward to leaving this boring, redundant white suburb I’ve lived in my entire life, only a few more years left to go. Looking forward to the future, here’s a toast to everyone, ayy swag
glad your getting better and that youve found someone like that 🙂 glad your getting better
Stendall’s *****- I’m glad you’re seeing things a lot more positively. I mean, since I’ve been on SP there have been so many changes in my life but ultimately I find myself doing the same things or feeling a particular way. I mean, I’m not on meds, I’m no longer visiting my doctor, no more counsellors and I have been offered a fantastic job. But I’ve signed onto SP today.. what does that say about how I feel? I think my life has changed but my feelings haven’t.
Stendarr’s *
I think I’m bipolar, but then again it could just be good days and bad days especially since in the army an hour feels like a day and my mood changes by the hour. Anyways as for SG i need to reconnect with him. I remember i never got along with him at first but he was pretty cool.
I’m glad you’re dealing better with your depression and such, it seems you are so much better than before. And I love the lengthy and meaty paragraphs. I got used to talking to people on omegle just to socialize and dealing with 3 word responses.
I can’t wait to get out of the army, i’m getting kicked out for not being able to pass the physical test (push-ups, sit-ups, 2 mile run). I just want to get a job help my mom pay her rent, possibly travel to another country or a few countries and then go to college as I find the prospect of furthering my education and travelling exhilirating.