Like everyone here, im on the ragged edge. I watched a kitten last week for my (gf/ex/dont know where were at anymore) while she was on vacation with her family. Immediately I bonded with that little kitty and it actually helped me to feel a little bit better about things. Just having that companion to come home to. Knowing she was waiting for me. Her chasing me around the house attacking my leg. So I told my mom and sister about it and asked them to keep an eye out for one for me thinking maybe it will help. Today, after work, my sister told me to come over and my mom had went to the shelter and got me a 2.5 month old kitty. He is very sweet and you can tell he just wants to be loved but, Im not getting that bonding feeling with him. I feel horrible. All he wants is to be loved. Hes very cuddly and a playful but im just not feeling that connection I did with the other one. I dont know what to do. I dont want to say anything to my mom and make her feel bad because I know she tried and just wants to help me be happy but at the same time, I feel bad for the cat because I dont know if I will be able to give him the love and attention he craves and deserves. I mean its not like I would neglect him but it just doesnt feel the same as it did with the other kitten. I cant ever win. No matter what I try to do, no matter where I try to turn, I cant ever win. Im in tears writing this because I feel like such a worthless asshole about everything.
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Give it time, sometimes shelter animals take awhile to build the trust that pets that have been in a home have. Plus it could just be because it’s a cat, who are notoriously aloof. Remember, dogs are pets for people, and people are pets for cats. Lol.
I have always been a cat person. I guess I relate to them better. And I dont think its a problem with him trusting me. He was only at the shelter for 2 days. He is already snuggling my face, nibbling on my finger, nuzzling my neck etc. I just dont feel the bond like I did with the other kitten. I felt urged to wake up in the morning and make sure she was ok. I wanted to hurry home after work just to be able to sit on the couch with her. She was a month or so younger than he is so maybe I felt more like a parent with her since she was so much smaller and more helpless. He is pretty independent already and I dont feel like I need to care for him as much. Maybe I just dont deserve anyone or anything that needs or wants love in my life. Maybe im not worthy of finding and keeping love.
Could your feelings of attachment to the other cat also have to do with that it was your ex/maybe girlfriends? And is it possible that the attachment to that cat could be interfering with your ability to attach to this one? I still think you need to just give it time, it’s been less than a day with this cat after all.
Give it time and eventually it will become YOUR cat and you’ll love it. The other choice is giving it away to someone you know will take care of it and choosing your own (so there’s a bigger bond). I agree with Durmmy’s opinion, most likely the instant bond you had with the other cat was because it’s your *whatever*’s (didn’t know how to call it, lol) cat.
Relax..it will come.This kitten has come from the shelter,and is a needy orphan…you will love him..You are worthy of being loved,and you are capable of loving ….I try to remember these things,and to say kind things to myself,instead of the self defeating mantra that I lived by for years…it does help. This kitten will grow up and need you and love you for a long time..For now,just play and cuddle with him ,and dont compare him or your feelings..Comparison creates dissatisfaction…Its a destructive neurosis -I ruined some good things in my life with the disease of comparison.Im envious you’ve got a kitten!SO FUN…We foster kittens,and find them homes-we have 3 cats already-but we havnt had a litter of kittens in 5 months.Theyre so adorable and entertaining…I hope you post a pic and his name too
Congratulations on adopting and rescuing a kitten! Cats bond in different ways and I am sure it won’t be long before the two of you figure out things…
Cats are quite independent and will take time in bonding, some do it within few days, some take weeks. Be patient. Cats tend to look after themselves whereas dog (I have one 9-year old Labrador retriever) need more care and interaction. If I don’t socialize with my dog, take him out for walks, he looks for things to do and shreds paper, cardboard boxes etc. I really don’t need that! I was thinking that cat would have been a better option… But I do love my dog and you’ll learn to love this cat too. Let the cat come to you, he will do that eventually and by providing him food and shelter, he already loves you. You may feel you are not worthy of love, but you are. Animals- even my paper shredding dog- love unconditionally.
Durmmy is right, people are pets for cats.