How can I feel so numb from everything an everyone yet still be in so much pain. So much. I just want out, I’m honestly tryna make it work but then I wake up in the morning and it all repeats. At least I’ve still got my plan, I hope I wont need it but I know I will.
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I completely empathize, being chronically numb desensitizes a person to everything around them, whether interactions from others or from the environment and it dulls self awareness as well. After being numb for so long I’ve grown used to it and sort of appreciate it in some regards, I’m not affected by things that I should have reactions to which saves me the pain from negative stimuli as well as the crash of positive stimuli. Being numb gives you time to reflect on your life and everything that pertains to it without the hindrance of emotions which tend to fog up the mind and distort logic. Before you kill yourself you should take time to delve deeper into yourself and your thoughts and explore them without the tethers of thoughts and logic warped by emotions. Have a great day 🙂