:'( :'( :'( I don’t know how to start from but the pain is killing inside me..my granny woke up at 5 in the morning and came over to my house just to convince me to go to school..she was ill but still she came..what if i lose her? i turned her down…i despise myself…but i had no other option..i dont want to go to school.
i feel like dying..the guilt is killing me… :'( :'( :'(
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
13 comments
why don’t you want to go to school so badly?
because i don’t have the strength to face people..the ones because of whom i an depressed..the betrayals…they are all cheats! i will feel claustrophobic..
because of this your grades are likely suffering as well, yes?
yes..my grades are suffering
that is another reason i dont want to go because i have a good reputation as a good student and now it will all be gone
then if you have that reputation you should have some teachers to talk to, or at least realize somethings wrong. talk to your guidance counselor the next time you go to school.
It’s hard to help others when you aren’t in a good place. You also have to separate the two. Yes you love your grandmother and yes you are also in a very tough place right now. Just because you can’t make it to school doesn’t mean you love your grandmother less. She is just concerned and loves you and wants you to succeed. I don’t think she would want too make you feel even worse. Like stabbymike suggested, maybe your academic career is going to take a bit of a hit and now is the time to find options for you to succeed instead of letting things go and get worse (things tend to do that the more you let them go). I certainly understand the pain of school because I faced a lot of bullying and harassment and probably wouldn’t have made it if I didn’t want to succeed so badly just so I could rub it into their faces later in life haha. Have you thought of online school? Or a GED? Then you could get our degree if you wanted and choose a school that has people that would make you feel more accepted.
I also used to avoid going to presentations or classes when I didn’t have assignments finished, but I was only hurting myself. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I didn’t want to disappoint them (I could be wrong) but sometimes you need to be a little selfish and remind yourself that you deserve to be in school regardless. I know it made me cringe to have to go to class empty handed, but when I did go anyway and just explained, I got through it and yes maybe they thought less of me but you know, it doesn’t last forever. One of my counselors said it best, which is that yes, you are sick, in my case, I was so sick I was in danger of dying. I think you need to have a talk with someone who can help support you and stand up for you if any of your teachers are not understanding of the situation.
thank you so much stabbymike and alum for listening to me..understanding me and supporting me…
i guess i needed to talk to someone..i have lost my friends which makes my situation worse..thanks for hearing me out..
and i guess i will have to go to school no matter how tough it is just for granny’s sake..i owe atleast this much to her…
Finding someone to live for when you can’t live for yourself has usually been helpful to me.
Your grandmother sounds like she does truly care about you and you seem closer to her than the rest of your family – or at least it appears so from other posts of yours. So live for her. Maybe the strength you gain from her caring will help her battle her sickness too. Maybe not. This world is a cruel and inhumane place sometimes.
And remember we are here too. I’ve only been here a short time, but the people here seem really nice and it helps a lot having people around who understand the kinds of thinks you are going through. Maybe not exactly, but it does help.
you are right..just absolutely right about everything copelessness
thank you
Please call a suicide prevention hotline. Every country has one. Use google to find one for your country. The one for the usa is 1-800-273-8255
You dont even have to be about to commit suicide, the will be happy just to talk if you feel depressed.
Or use an international online suicide prevention service. There is a group called the Samaritans that will take emails from anywhere.
They will also help even if you not just about to commit suicide.
Please call a suicide prevention hotline before you do anything like that. Every country has one. Use google to find one for your country. The one for the usa is 1-800-273-8255
Or use an international online suicide prevention service. There is a group called the Samaritans that will take emails from anywhere.
Actually, I just realized the Samaritians don’t specialize in helping suicidal people, and don’t offer specific advice, so it might be best to use a different suicide prevention group.