I can’t begin to describe the hell that I’ve been put through for the last 8 months. I won’t even try. All I can say is that I have been scammed, robbed, taken for all I have/had and left to suffer the financial consequences, the shame and the betrayal. I can’t believe that someone that I helped through the worst times of their life could do this to me. Bottom line, they robbed me for close to 30k.
All I can think about is that if there was ever a time to end my life, now is it. This is rock bottom. This person has made every promise under the sun to me about repaying me, but that’s all they were, promises. Very empty ones. How can someone act this evil? This ungrateful? This selfish?
All I had left was the hope that I would be repaid. Without that, there’s no way I can manage to survive much longer. All this because I know what pain and suffering is. I showed compassion to someone and believed their words when they told me how much they appreciated my help, how they didn’t deserve it, etc. This person holds the key to my fate in their hands. I absolutely will not continue to live if he is robbing me. Financially, it will be impossible for me to hang on much longer. I will lose my home and everything else. Besides that, I just can’t endure the hurt that he put me through by using me like that. I was already extremely depressed for many years. But I still had happy moments and I still could pay bills and still had reason to live. He took all that away from me. Now I have nothing. Literally. Just anxiety, shame and depression. This… this is the final straw. I cannot go on if he is robbing me. I thought he wasn’t, but now I think that he is. Omg, I’m such an idiot. Why didn’t I just ignore his pleas for help? Why can’t I just be cold? I really f#*king hate myself and him too. He is killing me. I wish he would have just killed me after robbing me instead of promising to repay me over and over. I can’t take this daily roller coaster of hope and disappointment anymore. I just want to be 100% sure that he is really robbing me of that money before I end it all. I’m done with this terrible, evil world.
16 comments
First take a minute and breathe. I know it’s sounds overwhelming right now. Financial problems are devastating, but you may be able to do something to fix it. Do you have any solid evidence he’s robbing you? Receipts? Bank statements? Did you give him the money as a loan or a gift? If there was a verbal commitment for repayment, that is admissible in a court of law. It may be difficult to get all of it back but you may be able to get most of it, or enough that you’re not drowning.
If he is stealing from you and you have proof (which seems you may since he promised to pay money back so he is acknowledging it), perhaps file a complaint with the police?
I do have all the evidence, bank transfer statements, etc. I know that if I take legal action, I will get all or most of it back. Every single dollar was a loan. He has never disputed that this money was lent to him, not given/donated. There is correspondence where he’s promised to repay this amount then or that amount then, but never has. It;s a very complicated situation. I just wish he would be a man, have some class and come through with his promises because I really saved him from some terrible things by lending him that money and I don’t deserve this at all.
No you definitely don’t deserve it, and I hope you can get your money back. Just don’t blame yourself, or do yourself harm because of his actions. He’s not worth that.
Take that legal action and start yourself on the road to getting out from under this burden, and don’t loan him anymore money! 🙂
I am very sorry you’ve had to go through this. Years ago I faced a similar situation when I rented a house and stupidly took in a “friend” I met through a recovery group that seemed to be doing well with the promise of their getting a job and paying their full share of rent and utilities. As we burned through my savings, they continued to burn through crank procured with anything of mine they could get their hands on – my tools, my vintage guitars, all ending with a vicious and police-assisted eviction. What hurt more than anything else was the revelation of how naive and stupid I was. Of course I learned never to feed fish to someone you meet in a recovery group, rather teach them how to fish. The second lesson was that once a person perma-fries on methamphetamine they don’t ever come back. They lie, steal, cheat and abuse themselves and everyone around them as long as they live.
This may sound a bit flip but it’s only money. And you can recover. But you have to let yourself of the hook and stop beating yourself up. It helps to find others you can really trust to support you and show you that you are worthy of being loved and you will find the strength to rebuild your life. I know how devastating this is and please take heart in the knowledge that you are surviving and learning how to do life better while the he iws still out there on a rapid path to destruction.
If he has family that believes he is doing “fine” then write them a letter exposing him. Write it as though you intend to vent and might not send it and don’t hold back. You may find yourself sending it and feeling much better after you do. And of course, if you have documentation and the law was broken pursue restitution with the authorities.
Above all take care of yourself and know that as time goes by things will change and you will heal. I wish you the best.
Wow, that is terrible. I’m so sorry that happened to you. Thank you for sharing your story. You definitely can relate to some of what I’m going through. I hope that you didn’t lose too much and that you were able to get back on your feet after that.
Thank you for all your responses. I have nobody to talk to about this, even the very limited people who know anything about it have no idea to what extent or any of the details. So, it really helped to be able to vent here, even if in a somewhat limited way. I can’t share any details and all I can say is that it’s a really complicated situation. While I can take legal action and would win if I did, I won’t. If there was a private chat feature on here that would be helpful!
I feel like the biggest idiot around. This was the push I needed to exit this disgusting world. I have never been treated so horribly, been so used or had my life destroyed single handedly like this before. I don’t even have money to buy food. I am ready to go.
The only way two ways that this can go for me is that:
a) he comes through and pays me back as he should. (A big portion of that money saved his life literally through an experimental “cash only” treatment for terminal cancer he has) and another portion kept him from serving 5-7 years in jail. Nobody else helped him, not even his family. He owes me.
b) Or I just exit, for which I’m prepared. I just hate myself for the grief that I’ll be putting my parents and daughter through forever. I have my sulfur/plan ready to go if/when I decide on that. I will expose him in every way with every detail if he doesn’t pay me and that’s the only option left to me. :'(
No matter how depressing it is, and granted I don’t know all the details, you have a daughter you said. I hope that you can find a way to live and get through this for her sake, as no matter how old she is, a parent who suicides, especially over financial reasons, will cause major damage to her, and I hope she is more important to you than this other guy.
She is very important to me. Words can’t say how much. I just feel like I’m of no value to anyone. How can someone this stupid be worth anything?
For the record, I wasn’t sleeping with him or anything. I felt the need to say that, because that wasn’t why I lent him the money. He was facing some truly difficult hardships, the cancer caused his life to really go downhill with one problem after the other. I felt compassion for him and tried to help him out of a series of problems. I truly believed and sort of still believe that he will repay me. Now I don’t know what to think. I know that if I do go on living and this is sorted out, I need to be careful because I am way, way too compassionate.
Until now, I haven’t gone to the authorities or a lawyer, even tho I could have, because I would just knock him down further and he’d be facing prob over 10 years in prison over it. I’m still giving him the benefit of the doubt for now. If I do see that he is actually flat out robbing me, then things will be different. But also, I’m so far in debt because of this, I won’t be able to get out of it. Even when I wasn’t in debt, before him, I hated life and felt depressed most of the time, so he’s not the only reason.
I would make your first step to start laying down the law then. You helped him when he was in dire straits and now it’s imperative for him to start repaying that debt. You sound very compassionate, and that’s a good thing, but it does open yourself up to people less scrupulous than you to take advantage. But this is by no means a reason to end your own life, and perhaps destroy your daughters as well. If you do that then you’ve placed this man who owes you money above everything else in your life. I understand that you don’t want to cause him any more hardship, but there comes a time when you have to be tough with him. Start by telling him that he HAS to start repaying you, even if it’s just what he can afford, he needs to start getting that money back to you. Make sure you’re clear that this will be his last opportunity before you take legal action to recover the money. If he really is intent on repaying you he will comply. If he’s ripping you off, he won’t and then you have your answer, and know it makes no sense to continue having compassion for him.
Thank you SO much for taking the time to talk to me. You can’t imagine how much of a difference you just made, just for giving me someone to talk to about this. I’m way too ashamed to tell anyone that I know what’s going on. The only way that they’ll find out is if I end up taking my life, because I’ll leave my journals, bank statements and other evidence near my body. (as well as letters explaining why else this world isn’t for me).
If he stole from me, he just kicked me while I was already down. And also, I was assaulted a couple of years ago, the surgery to repair the damage was unsuccessful so I’m also disabled and lost my job (my right hand) so replacing that money wouldn’t be very feasible, especially in the time frame that I have to work with. Life is really giving me every hint possible that it’s time to go.
No problem at all, I just hope you hear me, or any one else who tells you that this isn’t worth your life. Along with the assault and disability, life is very tough for you, but you are NOT out of options to make it better. The world needs more caring, and compassionate people like you, instead of the takers and selfish people who make up most of the population.
I’ve had things like this happen to me in little bursts all through out my life so I can totally imagine how you’re feeling. The amount of ‘friends’ I have helped out only for them to turn out to be robbing scumbags is unbelievable. There aren’t actually that many good people in this world and sometimes you don’t realize a persons lack of moral fibre until they take advantage of the good qualities you have, Basically because they don’t have them. Its a very painful place to be in – I know, it robs your trust and damages your self esteem, It shouldn’t do really because its their evil and lack of good, not yours, but the fact is you’ve been on the receiving end of a wrong turn which is disrespectful and unloving and that’s always gonna do you harm.
I wouldn’t be in the position that I am, being on and off suicidal all the time if i didn’t have a history of being taken advantage of and unappreciated so I totally understand why its making you feel like this. The damage it does can put you under a mountain of rubble as it robs you of things inside that you need to be able to function – that’s what it did to me.
Just remember its not your fault, its not your fault that you live in a crappy world where evil people fly and good people fall down. The only reason that this has happened, remember, is because what this guy has done is something that you would never think of doing so you wouldn’t expect of them to do it, its not stupid – it only feels that way. Its really just a sign that you’re someone more worthwhile than them. Why should you expect someone to be like this to you? you shouldn’t really should you? so how is it stupid?
so you stopped writing me.
you know who i am.
im glad you are still here but am planning my own death its actually planned out now, and others know too. just about all in orderm, i wait for the fight to end and i wait for mom to pass, and I will be out of this world, and i am comfortable with it now. It is my final decision.
So I hope to see you soon, if you go, because i won’t be here a whole lot longer.
Daysleeper78 Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and views with me. It really did help to read what you wrote, because I can relate to every single word. It’s also been happening to me in little bursts for my whole life, but this was a really big hit. I’m so sorry to read that you’ve been going through the same thing. It’s really quite damaging to the morale and just shows me how terrible humans can really be. I don’t think much of humans anyways, for the most part.
Peelasquid I haven’t been writing much to anyone or even on sp for quite a long time. Just too depressed I guess and being social in any way takes too much effort. I thought that you were doing better? You were the last few times that we’d talked. I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling worse again. 🙁