Will S.P.s resident Hamster Hole Extraordinaire “Thanatos” persue his newly discovered RAW GENIUS rap skills and TASTY hard-hitting lyrics all the way to the TOP? Recent Vegetable HATE themed slurs and Hard-Hitting innuendo about “Peacenicks” and “Treehuggers” are igniting flames of controversy.The word in the SP backalleys, among the gallows-humor Elite ,and the UltraNeurotic underground IS that EVERYBODYS favorite GrumpyGus is just engaging in some diversionary Shit talking BECAUSE of a contentious story with several conflicting versions.Our most reliable source tell us:T-Hampster(still ironing out the rap name…T-Hole? Are you creative?-postt all your great ideas!)) He was sexually assaulted while hiking naked with nothing but a fanny pack full of Astroglide and some snacks for his favorite pastime:feeding the ducks,squirrels,deer,and he even had some bear bait(his homemade recipe) The source tells us the brutal attack came from an unlikely team : a lumberjack AND a 2 foot long prize-winning English Cucumber…then tragically,one week later the same thing occured All Over Again when he was taking yet ANOTHER naked stroll in the woods by the logging camp, except this time ,not ONE but THREE lumberjacks and a State Fair blue-ribbon champion Japanese Eggplant …No arrests were made and no charges pressed because our HERO chose to join his attackers and try to help them transcend their perverse afflictions. A year later he was arrested at the logging camp for refusing to allow his roomate Victor”POWERBOTTOM” Victoria to leave their cabin,holding him hostage and threatening suicide,until finally police were able to taser him .After 3 tasers and a Rodney King-esque circle of gentle but firm persuasion ,Thanatos released his iron grip on the stallion sized black dildo -the legal ownership of the black stallion had apparently been the source of the tiff and sobbing he was taken away ,a broken and bitter young man.Older and wiser now,he harbors a resentment that seems to be the fuel igniting his Vegetable Rage and Tree-related bigotry…Its EXACTLY the kind of controversial past that can give him the STREET CRED necessary to send him straight to the top of the newly emergent ASSTHUG/GangstaRAPE scene. His My Little Pony fellow Bronys and Bukkaki Club teammates are all thrilled with his first official release and look forward to more gritty rhymin and stealin..GO HAMSTER-HOLE!!!! NOW,THEN..I wrote a Cowboy Bebop Haiku earlier in my previous post because i read a comment earlier,and I thought I detected interest in Cowboy Bebop-BUT IOverestimated potential again because the references I made-One eye always on the past-his prosthetic/robotic eye,to be specific-was not noticed. It was a little disappointing,frakly,because its my favorite series in the genre…well,its sortof created its own genre,but I digress. Also..-NO ,Clevername is not a padantic ninny of the same caliber as yourself even if he is rude for no good reason except to join in with you(despite how snippish and judgy you treat him) I know exactly what does and does not qualify as Haiku-I just dont fucking care,guys…Its Anarchy ..rules are being flouted,ignored,raped,burned,swallowed!!! Its a Haiku Rebellion,muthafuckers…or Fucku..or just Ku… if you were pissing your pants with the thrill of your Haiku guideline knowledge because you got to OUT me for breaking the RULES , well im glad you got a charge from it-and the rhymes!!!Hamster-Hole,that was very touching.Clevername-i expected more from you than a cuter way to spell vagine.Youre smarter than him,for fucksake.Tighten UP:) That was fun.Now-back to Cowboy Bebop…
Haiku for Spike Spiegel
Ultimatum,loss
One eye looking back,always
Charlie Parker plays
Haiku for Jet
Pilot of Bebop
A cop who would not be bribed
Robot arm,Black dog
38 comments
from what little rapping skills i’ve observed of thanatos his rapping skills more resemble that of a suburban white boy that listens to rap-dubstep and hit himself too hard in the head trying to throw up a gang sign he saw on a Lil Wayne music video
The skills are thin,yes…but the raw fury really came through here and there….I cant remember now,because I took a nap afterwards,but it had vagine in it,and an anti-vegetable line..hes just boiling with white rage..
I really like dubstep sometimes… robitussin and dubstep make for a fun and pleasant disassociative godzillaesque dance situation…but thats just me,im sure everybodys got their OWN favorite Robitussin fueled activity:)
@OP Christ’s sake. Why are you attacking Thanatos? Get a grip on yourself man. The purpose of SP is not so that members can have catty ***** fights with each other. Who are you anyway? Are you an older member with a new profile or something? I’ve never seen you here before the last few days.
I’d advise you to cool it before Admin steps in and decides to ban your account.
Attacking?You are taking this all wrong..you clearly missed his rap…too bad because it was awesome-look back last nite. Hes pretty funny….but im much funnier
Like all great artists..misunderstood in my era…sigh.:)
You know honestly, I think it’s incredibly lame when people apply the designation of “art” as an excuse to try to humiliate someone, which you seem to be doing here. Seriously, grow up.
🙁 youre a big meanie wheres your sense of humor? Thanatos enjoyed it..why cant you?
You’ve never seen a roast, huh? Insulting someone well is a fine art. It isn’t easy crafting and executing a beautifully orchestrated character assassination.
I wish there were more comedy fans on suicide sites. Why y’all so serious?
I knew I could count on you C4…see,the guys a real Prince,clearly but had insulted me latest Haiku….after he came on with a rap as his response I thought it would be fun to riff a little about it….it was the best id laughed in a couple weeks,and THAT is good medecine(Irma Bombeck said so) hes a tough guy,so you see it wasnt harmful fun…prob enjoyed it…like he did the cucumber:)
I like comedy, but I don’t think I can find something to be amusing if I can’t even read it. (I read your posts. They’re funny and *well-written*. People should learn how to utilize proper English techniques. Paragraphs would help.)
This post on the other hand just seems uncalled for. I have no idea what it’s even about. Perhaps the OP was on crack. (Wouldn’t surprise me.)
Thanatos likes being called Mentos. He’s minty fresh, you know. Goes down easy, too. 🙂
J/k Mentos
@ Persa; I’m at the Irish bar drinking Better Red than Dead. This place is great. They’re playing The Clash and I haven’t gotten kicked out yet.
X (the band. Remember them)?
Sometimes the sun shines on a dogs ass. G’nite.
@C4 That’s cool. I’m watching anime and thinking about how I might need to buy eyewear soon. Dammit. My eyesight isn’t what it used to be. (Another reason why I skip over convoluted posts.)
It looks like an attack to me. Although I have to admit that I am physically unable to fully read your posts due to the manner in which they are typed. (No offense.)
Good rap names for Thanatos? Hmm
Thin Autos
DJ Tomatoes
The nachos
Snot nose
I dunno. Burritos? The wind blows? The not toes?
(I’m just rhyming now, yo).
so i finally got around to reading this… lol.
I need a word stronger than “hyperbole.”
Hyperhyperbole? Superhyperbole?
Hyper-mega-ultra-super-duper-perbole?
what the fuck did i just read…
Oh good im not alone..
Maladies and Negligentlemen, we have a hyperbolic absurdist in our midst.
If only we could use GIFs through Gravatar – I wanted to use one of the Hypnotoad.
OT: “Can’t we all… get along?”
I think everyone should boycott sites that don’t allow gifs as avatars.
I recently encountered a niche group who felt the opposite. It was baffling.
Niche alright… Yeesh.
Are GIFs as avatars possible through the make-up of WordPress proper or Gravatar? Or is that more for forum-orientated sites? (You seem to be an authority on such matters).
Heh, i don’t even know. I think it’s mostly forums where i’ve seen gif-avatars, but i don’t believe it’s impossible or even significantly bandwidth intensive to let people use size-limited gifs. I think the main reason they’re not enabled in so many places, is because “any advantage given will be taken,” and people tend to abuse the opportunity to express questionable or inappropriate notions through moving images.
Or simply: they could do it easily, but people would abuse it.
U mad bro?
@Thanatos Yeah I wasn’t sure what he was so offended about that he felt the need to make this post. Geez.
Man, I just grazed this.. you are one sadistic pup. xD
Can I interpret that as approval and dare I dream…. respect,sir??? As green and sentimental as your rap was-It was thrilling,and well-you see the results of being challenged …..both of us made breakthrough artistic leaps forward..Ted Nugent called,by the way,and said his favorite alpaca expired in the throes of of sweet,sweet autoerotic asphyxiation LOVEMAKING and that means(I know youve dreamed of this for a lifetime)Youre IN. PACK YOUR TOYS AND HAMSTERS…youre FINALLY IN as ONE of The Nuge’s BITCHES.I dont think youve got what it takes to be #1 because of your squeamishness concerning live eels,and The Motorcity Madman has been very vocal about his love of live eels and LAMPREYS,too,as “marital aids”…Perhaps you can squeak by on your lamprey skills….I wish you Luck,but Most of All…I wish you LOVE(Cue the Bodyguard Theme,sung to near perfection by Whitney Houston-NO,no…Dolly Partons original version.Changed my mind:)….and for fucksake,Hamster-Hole-Dont go getting caught up in the passion(Ted Nugent is a notoriously skilled lover..you HAVE to stay focused,bro)and lose track of a lamprey…we dont want a repeat of The Thanatos Lamprey Incident while in the custody of The Nuge-he wont be takin you to the ER for emergency lamprey extraction..he will do it himself(to a gruesome conclusion) or he will do nothing and let nature take its course..Ted is a radical proponent of Letting Nature take its Course,and has spent th last 40years in actively assisting Nature…Nature demands it,he says..Demands it…Its been my privilege and honor to have such meaningful contact with the guy thats replacing Teds alpaca in his infamous harem in Nugents Pleasuredome in Xanadu,Arkansas …I know what youre all thinking-Arkansas?..Even Ted Nugent says Detroit is too dangerous..
@Persa; Good eyesight is also a prerequisite for accurate shooting. I’m based in a place that snows a lot. I’m not into winter sports. I used to spend my off days here at the range.
Putting a round down range and hitting your target is an awesome feeling. You should buy a handgun and come visit. Get a. 357, a 9mm, a. 45, whatever. “The great equalizer”. I feel bad for those of you in the lesser countries – everyone should have a firearm (except for the crazy people. Think any of them are reading this)?
Come visit. We’ll do some exercises. 🙂
Can confirm – 300 metres, target moving left to right, 5.56 green tip round fired from an IW Steyr, no spectacles = A kick in the arse and 30-odd rounds which hit everyone else’s target except mine.
The same conditions above BUT with spectacles = a perfect 25 with each of the 4 consecutive green men who popped up.
I’m pretty fuckin’ blind at range, but with my eyewear I’m a killer. Moving targets are my favourite, especially those Figure 20 walking targets (they look like this crazy neighbour I used to know).
I wish our firearms laws were more lenient here. Sigh. 🙁
CORRECTION: Green men were single hit targets, Figure 20’s were the scored ones.
It’s been awhile…
Sounds like a plan. I think I’ll get a Glock 19. They look stylish.
Glock 19’s are a beauty to shoot. Not exactly full-framed but good for follow-up shots and are a beaut’ to use in close-quarters, non-sighted.
Glocks are too “plastically”. I don’t like ’em. They (allegedly) fire underwater but they’re not heavy enough for my liking. Go American (or a knock off). Go heavy.
Ruger, Smith & Wesson, Browning, Dessert Eagle – Go big or go home, babe. (It’s been awhile since I went gun shopping. There may be more, that’s all I remember). I’ve always leaned more towards hand guns than assault rifles but I’m open minded when it comes to artillery.
I concur..Desert Eagle is my favorite BUT, I also have a Glock from my wild teen years thatI will always keep for sentimental reasons.
it’s all about context. ^^
No one can deny the appeal and sheer destructive capacity of a Deagle… but a lighter and mostly polymer Glock has at least a slight maneuverability and concealment advantage, which can lead to an end result if a quicker draw, which will kill a man just as dead as a Deagle can. Those compact .45’s are nice. I think most of their lineup is probably worthy for the intended application. I wouldn’t mind owning the whole collection. 🙂
Shephard & C4 – What do you think of Sig Sauer P229’s?
Our army has used the P226 for over 20 years. 15 round magazine, full-sized frame, and reliable all the same. From what I know, the 229 is used by some uniformed services of the US government. The only difference being that it’s a lot more compact than the 226.
War-ry rating of 9/10 on account of its size. The Swiss mightn’t fight, but they make some outstanding weaponry.
I would DIE to get my hands on a Colt Python .357. My .44 is nothing in comparison to that majestic piece of iron