I know what I want to do. I’ve always known it. Yet somehow it never gets done. I asked my therapist to just think of me finally getting everything he ever thought I would enjoy. People don’t think that way; especially not therapists. I am ashamed of my feelings. I think of all of the people who will die today; many of whom have very real reasons for wanting to live. I just think why can’t it be me? If X number of ppl need to die today why can’t one of them be me. A person who doesn’t want to live anymore. Do any of you ever think that way? I’m guessing you do. Maybe we can talk.
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I had so many chances to be killed when I was younger. Too bad, now that I want to, those chances have faded away. So, what’s brought you to SP?
If you need someone to talk too then I’m all ears … Im not here to judge or criticize you. I would love to hear whatever you have to say.
I’ve wanted to off myself for years. Since I was a teenager. It’s just another in a long line of things that never got done. I feel hopeless. My first thought when I open my eyes every morning is, “I just want to die” and that’s usually my last thought before going to sleep.
@Brendan, therapists are useless. During my last visit to the psychiatrist, after months of therapy, they finally said ”there is nothing more we can do for you.” Even after I mentioned suicidal thoughts. I think of death even during my sleep, and one day soon enough I’ll be ready to do it.