I can’t make friends. I’ve tried my whole life to blend in, to be like everyone else. But I just can’t. I thought I finally could make it. But it wasn’t a real friendship. People just want me to be available when they need me. But no one listens to me when I need company. I’m spending my days crying my heart out. Why does it happen to me? Why is everyone I’ve ever cared for happy and enjoying their lives and achieving their goals. Whereas I can’t do it. I’m not meant to do it.
I was so desperate and so in pain that I wanted to end my life. This didn’t succeed neither. I keep trying hurting myself, trying to cut my veins. But it needs more strength and I stop when the pain is too intense to endure. And it’s becoming so much unbearable.
I have no goals in life. I can’t smile anymore. I’ve tried to seek for a psy help but it didn’t work.
And seriously what for? To realise that life is good even though left alone with no one to care about me?
I have no siblings and my parents don’t care about me.
I’ve always had that guilty feeling of existing. I mean what’s the point? I’m only a waste of space. I can’t find anyone who would be sad if I’m gone. In fact this is precisely what I want. I want to be delivered of this overwhelming sadness. If my life didn’t give any kind of happiness, why should I fear death?
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9 comments
you should think more about yourself. you report yourself to others, to their affection, to their attention, to their reaction. how about yourself? do something for you, to like and feel happy about yourself. when you like yourself, others will do it as well. but that’s optional, you should like yourself first, not others. about true friends… well, you’d cry if you knew how many of us have true friends or affectionate family.
Really strange story of how I landed on this site and ultimately found your post. I don’t know if there’s a way to share email addresses on this site, but if there is, I’d be happy to talk with you. I’ve been known as a giant ear and a giant mouth, so I can listen and yap with the best of them. If we never connect, I wish you pleasant thoughts and moments in this life; even if it’s fleeting. But I hope we can talk. Cheers.
You can change your life at any time. Change ow you act, change how you talk to and treat others, change your goals in life, change your direction in life. Work on your social skills,
A big step is to put the past behind you and move forward with intention of improving upon yourself and your situations. your past does not equal your future.
the future is not set. start today to find things about yourself that you like and find the things that you don’t like about yourself and change them. Also find something to do with your life that is positive > maybe a career maybe a way of helping other people. or maybe some creative pursuit
you can email me if you want
jrock7766@hushmail.com
I’m in the same situation – I tried blending in, but in the end it just made me feel empty inside. I have no friends that deeply care for me. I was in a relationship with a girl, and when it ended, I felt like no one really cared, and became suicidal/terribly depressed. I couldn’t continue studying, it became pointless.
We blend in to try and fit in with each other to not be alone, but it ends up making us feel very lonely… because deep down we know people are being fake or not really speaking their hearts. Most people have learned to be hesitant and afraid to really speak their true feelings, instead just conforming to societal expectation, and it makes us feel ourselves as separate and distant from each other, and I think that’s where ego comes from. It’s terrible because it causes it to be very hard for people to deeply connect in love.
I feel you and I’m here for you
I REALLY HOPE YOU WOULD SEE MY POST (the one I wrote above this one), so I wrote in caps.
if you want to talk, my email is:
***************** (‘r’ and then ‘m’, no ‘n’)
I understand I’ve never belonged either im all alone the same as you and I know..its sad amd painful we humans are social creatures by nature we blend in so as not to be an outcast everyone needs sumone you story sounds alot like mine I can umderstand were your coming from…if you feel that you have no purpose….give yourself one dont go down my path at least give it some thought.Search hard I mean REALLY hard and you’ll find your answer have a look at some of my posts who knows maybe sumthing in there could help you find your way off this darkened path….
i think its quite clear that this person has tried. but people have in return treated them like shit. its sad
but as long as you took other peoples thoughts and needs into consideration when you try and socialize with them, and they treated you like shit in return, thats their fault. like, you listen to their problems, and they listen to yours. but if they cant do that, its their problem
I wrote a reply earlier above, I really hope you see it. I really want to talk if you want to too. My email is: ***************** ( “r” then “m”, no “n”)
with love