Session 19: Read between the lines.

Part of me still hopes for a safe resolution, maybe find someone that is not a religious crack head to try to repair me?  Is just false hope, I know that.  I’ve known that for some time.   I wonder why I kept holding on to this noise.   I knew that everyone was going to walk away, to move on.

Everyone moves on, in the end we are nothing but memories that linger in time and eventually fade into nothing.  Unless you find one of those people that can never forget.  If such a thing even exists.

I’ve been researching more locations in the area that can serve the purpose.  Found one not that far.  Not a fan of jumping, but it was effective in the documents I’ve read, so I can give it a shot.  I begin to think that maybe 20 was too much of  a large number, but nah, 20 is good enough.   I hardly think that anyone close will read these and figure me out, or that by the time they do find them they decide to do anything about it.  It doesn’t matter, a broken vase will serve no purpose but to be broken into tiny pieces and maybe made into a different vase.

That part of me that hopes that things will get better has left them some clues.  You know, little spinets here and there.  It hopes that someone will take the time to read them, to look at them, and maybe do something.  Too bad that is not going to happen.  It is my hope that the part of me that did that will enjoy the everlasting despair and hopelessness that have engulfed me my entire life.

I actually drew something and I’m going to post it here.  You can even try to find me if you so desire with it.  n.n lets see if your hope can overcome my despair.  Until next post.  Cheers.