I just want a easy and painless way out.
My first and only attempt I took 100, 500mg sleeping tablets and 27, 200mg painkiller tablets to slowly drift away and all that happened was I passed out in my bed then spewed all over myself while I was still passed out then when I regained consciousness my mum had found me and took me to my nearby hospital then I went out to it again and they sent me to another bigger hospital witch they put stuff down into my guts to make me spew the remainder of tablets out.
Note, I attempted on the night before my 17th birthday my 18th is coming up soon November 5th I’m planing to end it all then we have now got a 410 shotgun but I just don’t want to do it like that but if worse comes to worse that may be the way to go.
Can anyone help me with a better way then gunshot, tablets Preferably? 🙁
9 comments
Sorry, there’s no easy way, I thought about hanging myself, partial suspension, but that’s painful and may not work but overdoses are a no-no, seldom work for the reason you mention, ie. you puke them up. May I ask why you have decided to take your life before your birthday?
Sorry I fucked up. It was not before my birthday it was pretty much on my birthday because it was past 12 o’clock and all I wanted was my mum to find me dead when she was coming to say happy birthday to me when she eventually woke up.
the reason why I want to die, Iv been having family problems for years and last year everything got worse when my nan who I lived with since I was 5 died the only person to care about me, so I had to go live with my junky **** of a mother who didn’t want me in the first place, after living with her for a couple of months I had enough and though if you don’t care about me I will just go then I though if I do it on my birthday she will only have to think about me once a year instead of two time a year, example, my suicide date and my birthday, but if you put them together only makes one date doesn’t it.
I hope that makes sense :/
I’m a weird kid!
And that’s only one thing fucked up in my life.
I have no friends I got bullied out of school iv Been Fucked around so much I can’t get a job in the crappy little town I live in and iv tried going for jobs in near by towns and I only ever get interviews they say if I had my year 10 certificate I would have got the job but I don’t so it sucks. I also have a really bad social anxiety problem and iv got no other family members that would want me to come live with them so I’m better off gone.
If you don’t like your mum you should do it on her birthday but that would be cruel, but I say don’t do it at all, I hear your problems but have little to offer, bullied at school I can relate to but having to leave the place and that seems to be a big problem for you now with regards to jobs. Life sucks it really does, you do seem to be in a bad situation in wanting to leave your mum’s place but can’t get a job to do it. I don’t know about this year 10 certificate but is there any way you can still get it as it seem important. You are not better of dead, you are better of trying to sort through the problems you have, I wish I could just help better than I can.
Also, you may have to put up with staying at your mother’s a bit longer, sometimes in life we have to do thing we hate but you need to sort yourself out and I don’t mean killing yourself, you have to rectify the reason why you can get a job, there must be a way, I would think others are in your situation with regards to the certificate but it’s a job that’ll make a difference to you, I suffer from panic attacks in crowded places and paranoia but still hold down a job but it is difficult but I’m 46 now.
Nias are you still here? x
I can’t say why I came onto this site tonight, I rarely ever do now but yes, I’m here, I hope you get to see this comment, I did recognise your name from 6 years ago when I saw your new messages, I knew we’d spoken in the past. I’m sorry things haven’t changed, sometimes we pin so much on things changing and when they don’t a greater depression sets in. I don’t know if you’re still living with your mother which was causing you some of the difficulties, I expect so. It’s been so long since I’ve commented on SP but I’ve remembered so many of the users, so many have left their mark on me. Looking at your posts did remind me of how overwhelmed you had become. As you know, there’s no magic wand that can take away your depression and thoughts of suicide, how I wish there was. I can only say again that I recognised your name and remembered you from 6 years ago, I remembered I care about you then and I hope that in some way you can find strength in the knowledge people have and will want you to find a way forward.
Maybe I should stay abit longer and see how being an adult would be maybe it might open up opportunities and new jobs because I did try to go for a lot of jobs but I had to be 18 to work there :/
It’s just so hard, I don’t know if I even want to try anymore iv been put down two much! life sucks way to much why can’t I just be normal like every other 17 year old loving life going to party’s hanging with mates getting girlfriends oh yes I am a boy if you didn’t know already that’s another thing people tease me about my girls name.
I never get to do any fun stuff because nobody likes me, NOBODYYY!! not even my own mother. :'(
The only way I can get the certificate would be to go back to school but I really don’t want that I don’t want to be bullied again and I wouldn’t be able to handle all the teenagers judging me and looking at me, all I think about when I’m around people is them judging me. And I have the same problem panic attacks!
Killing myself on her birthday ha why didn’t I ever think of that, it wouldn’t be cruel it would be perfect.
It’s late here in the UK but I feel I have to say I’m pleased you’re thinking of (are) staying around, things can work out but the funny thing is, I say the same as you about others enjoying their lives, parties/girlfriends etc. and I’m 46 not 17 😀 ,I’m still hopeful and I’ve had some good and happy times between 17 and 46 and will again and so will you once you get your life in some sort of order, put up with your mother for now as it will help you having a place to be, even if it’ll be hard to do so, just keep thinking it’s not permanent, I’ll be moving on once I get a job and then, hopefully, things will fall into place as can happen in life and normally when you least expect it. Take care Shannon, keep coming back here when depression hits you, there’s alway people to listen and reassure you which is what you need at such a young age, put the suicide idea away for now and actually forever as I honestly don’t think you’ll need it. Things will change for you. Oh and I was teased because of my surname at school but I won’t go into detail, you’ll understand 🙂
What you have said tonight does mean a lot to me knowing someone is trying to help I really, REALLY do appreciate it!
Thank you nias!