I found it so hard to get out if bed this morning. I used to consider myself a Christian. So I prayed last night. Because I feel like I am fighting myself. Too many times I am fighting the urge to cut again or to pop pills. I feel like if anyone can help, the big man upstairs can because if he doesn’t I won’t be here much longer. I am constantly trying to stay strong, but I am not sure how long I can hang on. Honestly, any night could be the night.
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Well it’d be more helpful if you explained what the problem was so that people could offer you useful advice. If there is a ‘man upstairs’ he certainly doesn’t seem to give a f-k about anyone. He’s currently letting ISIS enslave, rape and sell girls as young as 3 years old into sexual slavery to muslim pedophiles in Syria and Iraq.
I’m just saying there’s so much evil going on in the world that it’s strains credulity to believe in a magic skyman that loves us and fixes our problems. I believe we’re here on our own and it’s up to us to what we do with our lives. Best of luck in whatever you do.
I respect your opinion.
As far as problems, it used to be I just felt alone, and maybe I still do. I fight everyday to continue on to the next. Like part of me wants to live, and the other part wants to die. Thats my problem, I just feel like in fighting a hopeless battle. Really don’t know how to explain it.
I understand some of how you feel. Several years ago, I created an island of just myself by pushing everyone way. As for living/dying, I think that mentally a piece of me has checked out… while physically I’m still here.
I feel like that sometimes … Mentally checking out while physically still here.
Definately with you on the mentally checking out, I often feel like a shell of who I used to be, with each breakdown I became less human, less like I’m still all here.
To quote my favourite character:
“You used to be much more…”muchier.” You’ve lost your muchness.”
I’ve felt the same way for years, and I tend to push people away despite wanting the opposite. I read it has something to do with what I suffer from, but who knows. No one should be alone, it truly is hell.
@This_iz_me
Actually I can fully relate I feel the same way. Half of me wants to live, the other half wants to die, it’s a daily struggle for me. Sometimes I just shut off the voice that says I should kill myself and I’m actually able to enjoy life a bit more…but then when I look at the big picture, I feel all of it is so useless.
The incredible opportunities I once had for dating beautiful girls, for finding great jobs are all gone now and all I have is a crappy job and a mediocre existence. I’m old (early 40s) out of shape and have no significant other. Only my family and friends keep my going…but I am also alone. I’m trying to change my life but it’s very difficult when you are sad and hate yourself and don’t want to struggle.
Anyways we’ll see what the future holds for me. I don’t know what problems you have but if it’s something that you think you can fix it might be worth trying. Cheers.
Exactly. Looking at the big picture I feel it is all so useless!! Like I am always thinking why or who cares… Like you, I feel alone. And I hate myself. Maybe if I didn’t hate myself so much I would actually have a chance at life, but I can’t change how I feel. Sad thins is, I can’t even tell you why I feel this way.
I will look at my problems and see if I can fix it. It will be hard but I will try. Thank you
I feel like that too. Try to help yourself, that’s what I’m working on trying to get help. And don’t let anyone tell you what to believe ^^
I can relate to your quote.
You’re not alone, my feelings are like secondlife: mid 40’s, crap job, no one to love; I’m torn between life and death as well. I just hope my future can improve.
+ I hope you can hang on as well, nights are the worst for me, all my past failures came back and haunt me and thoughts of the future turns to thinking ‘what’s the point’, but the point is, things can change, I hope you’ll consider this and try and remain positive.