I already know where I wish to died and a few ways of how still not determined but all I can think of is how I don’t want my family to hate me. I know they will hurt because if I with drew from them if I let my plans be known in any way they will be pissed. They will give me that stupid speech of how I have so much to look forward to and its not like me and I just need to exercise and lose weight cause I’m so F**ing fat and that I need to take better care of my body and it will all be ok because I will have fit into their perfect little mold. Problem is It wont work. I’ve been hurting for years and I tried to live life I tried to be optimistic I tried to be who I was supposed to be. It just made it so much more excruciating. So tell me once they find out who in was will they hate me. I think so.
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My family just laughs at me and tell me to shut the f… up when I tell how I feel, and I feel very suicidal… So I understand you, I understand you very well. I’m sorry it is this way… have you met a shrink or psychologist? How old are you? Family doesn’t have to know…
I have never been to psychologist or a shrink my family has never believed in counseling or getting professional help they have always tried to solve everything on their own. The times I tried it their way have made me worse off almost every time when it came down to my eating habits, relationship issues, and especially this. I’m 19. And thank you its nice to know I’m not the only one with this issue.
In time you will come to realize that life was not meant for enjoyment, just try to cope.
I doubt they will hate you. I think they will blame themselves.
I know when I do it. My mom especially will blame herself.
They will hurt and wonder what they could have done to prevent it.