After spending 4 weeks on a Psychiatric unit/ward I don’t feel much better then I did before I went in, feel a wee bit better but not much.
I really don’t know what I’m going to do with myself I still want to die but at the same time I want to get better, As anyone fellt these emotions at the same time before? I feel that it’s too late for me I car’t see my life with out depression and psychosis.
I see all the people that are fighting for their lives with cancer or other terminal illnesses, And who wants to live. Then they is myself who wants to die I would give my life so someone who wants to live can live and I will take their place.
I’m going to try and hang on and hope it will come bearable to live but after, 7 years of suffering from menatl Heath problems but I don’t see it ever getting better.
You car’t save some people and I car’t be saved it just a matter of time till I actually do some thing what there is no going back from.
2 comments
I’m glad you feel a little better. Never imagined a stay at a mental hospital would achieve that, but hey – it’s something. I’ve felt like one part of me wanted to live and make it alive, and the other part wanted to die. It’s part of the reason why I backed out when I had a good easy chance to kill myself last year.
But what if you can be saved? What if you just need to wait a little bit more? I hope you consider doing that. Life can change at any moment.
I met a girl recently. I told her I’m dying; I didn’t want her to get too attached. And i am surely dying. Just not from anything physical. I told her not to worry about what from. I didnt want to tell her its terminal depression.