The guy I thought I loved, well I didn’t love him. That guy I considered my best friend, he wasn’t ever truly my best friend. The relationship I thought I had the one that felt like magic, I didn’t have one it was all an illusion. I had hope, faith, I still fucken believed like some idiot. I still had feelings for him, now that part of me, that hope, those dreams and beliefs are all dead and gone. He cheated on me with her who knows for how long and they are dating. All I can do is laugh because he couldn’t let me go so he guilted me into staying by telling me how suicidal he was and all these dark thoughts. It was all fake and the ironic part is he cheated on her with me all these recent times. Of course I had no clue because I stupidly wanted to believe…I honestly can’t say that I hate him in fact I feel sorry for him. Damn reality sucks but knowing that I was living some stupid lie was even worse. Well good luck to me…
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
12 comments
sounds like me but I grow up hope anyway. I just want to open legs up and eat
sorry no help just sayin from a guy perspective next one make him wait and get to know you
Hey there, Alina_01. That sounds pretty awful. I’m so sorry that he broke your heart and that he cheated and lied. He sounds like the master of lies, and also someone really confused and empty. Kind of desperate. Needing women to fill a hole he has inside and spiraling out of control emotionally without a care in the world for others. It’s hard to see it that way on this side of it, because he left you broken and without hope or faith, two vital parts of survival in this world. I know if you are on this site, you are feeling a lot of the desperation and depression now. I want you to know it can get better. Hope and faith can be restored, and they don’t have to be dependent upon another person. You can be totally complete and totally happy and fulfilled without him. Take some time to find yourself and your own personal joy, and then, once in that healthy place, you will find the right person, and you’ll have eyes that see past the lies now. You will be the stronger person for this. You will rise. Please let me know if you want to talk. I have so much faith in your ability to rise above your situation. So much.
@safehaven:The sad part is I feel free for the first time in years, I spent just a little over half my life time with him. And I finally can say my heart has been set free, it hurts and bothers me that I know this truth. But I want real love not the fake shit I had and I honestly can’t wait to start this new chapter in my life. But there is a big ache inside me because realizing I was living a lie, sacrificing myself to help someone who simply took advantage of me makes me hate myself. And thats my struggle the hate I feel for myself.
@alina_01
The majority of that response was REALLY positive!! I am so glad you feel free! I am so glad that you are ready for the next chapter. That is so beautiful. You deserve real love. And that real love comes when we are totally healed and whole in ourselves. You should never hate yourself, especially because someone else took advantage of you. When someone is really hurting, really lost and desperate, they are so good at weaving lies it’s crazy. It’s not your fault you didn’t see it. He was living a lie as though it was reality. You were caught in his web. I am glad you are not angry at him, but don’t be angry at yourself either. Grasp hold of the part of you that is free and excited. Learn to lay the rest in the dust and surrender the burden. You can do it. Then there will be peace. Then there will be healing. Then there will be learning to love yourself. Then, finally, there will be real love. It’s a process, but it really does happen. : )
He is empty, confused, and desperate. I’m not that individual, but I’m that guy.
That’s what I got from his side, too.
@thecensoreddream: and I completely understand that more than anyone, i tried to help him honestly I did. I know how it feels so i wanted to save him and all he did was take advantage of that and spit in my face. I hope he finds his way that he ends up happy and over comes his issues and changes and becomes a better person.
@Alina, didn’t you say you and this fellow had broken up over a year ago and were currently engaged in a No-Strings-Attached sexual involvement? If that’s the case, and he only started dating that other chick after you broke up, then he wasn’t cheating on you. However, if you believed you were the sole person he was sleeping with, she may have thought the same (which would mean he was cheating on her), so I would advise that you find a way to contact her and tell her the truth. If she thought she was in a monogamous relationship with him, well, she deserves to know so that she can ditch his ass.
@Aquamarine: No we broke up in January but back in september of last year he had been talking to her for months of our “engaged” relationship. He was talking to her going to strip clubs and whore houses and who knows what else so yeah we were still together when he was talking to her. We were hooking up recently but I didn’t know that he was dating her I just find it ironic that he was dating her yet coming to me for sex..Yeah but i’m sure hes told his lies to her as well and not just that but he is a dangerous person and has threatened me and my family before so I’d rather let go of the whole situation.
Alina is too beautiful for me :*|
And there is always hope for any guy that is “that guy.” You don’t have to stay in that place of empty, confused, and desperate. You can find completeness other ways. Total fulfillment.
The above was @TheCensoredDream