I love you. I hate you.

I love you.
My love for you is illogical like a person living two lives at the same point in time.
I go crazy thinking about you. Every minute of every day, from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed, you circle my mind over and over again.
I ache for you deeply but you know what they say ‘absense makes the heart grow fonder’.
And you know my heart yerns for you.

I hate you. I fucking hate you.
I hate you for tricking me into loving you.
Your social media commentary, the way you would pay extra attention to me –
I hate that you publicly embarresed me and made it as if it was my fault.
I’m not the one who needs to calm down, I’m not the one who is crazy –
I hate you for your hatred towards me.

But still I love you.
Because like I said, my love for you is illogical as illogical that may be.