why didn’t the poison hemlock work?

On October 26th, last Thursday, I ate a handful of poison hemlock seeds I had researched thoroughly. I was so ready. I had prepared all summer. Ready for peace, or nothingness, or heaven, or hell, or my next life, or a reset. I want to die, and I’ve wanted to die for a very very long time. My chest and gut physicaly hurt when I think of having to push on for 60 or so years living only for my friends and family. ..the seeds are from a camping trip. I know hemlock. The leaves, the flowers, the colors, the smell, and yes, the taste. They tasted as mice urine smells. I did my fucking research. People die from eatting birds that eat hemlock seeds. People die from eating the leaves, but I ate the seeds! The seeds contain the highest potency of poison! I ate the seeds on an empty stomack with matcha tea. Shortly after I smiled and closed my eyes. I fell asleep, purposely. I woke in my best dress, with my suicide note. I felt fine! So I looked up noose tying, and did my research on a best way to shoot myself, aiming at my mendulla or directly at my heart. I decided it was too risky to shoot myself in the head. What if I merely crippled myself?! So with a sharpie, I marked a shot on my chest in between my rib bones. I planned to look for my dad’s gun, walk out into the back field with a note tied around my ankle, text forward everyone I love, call the police and give them the address on where to find my body ( so my family wouldn’t find it) & shoot. Well I couldn’t find his gun, and all the rope I found was too thin ( & I due decided hanging myself would risk just becoming a human veggie), so I grabbed my brothers gun he uses to kill raccoons. I managed to find three different kinds of amo. I walked out into the field and fired once to see how I could manage it. It didn’t make for such a scary sound, but surely powerful enough to pierce through to my heart. It was the last shot, so I opened it up and attempted to try loading each of the three different pellets. None of them were a match! I was dumbfound! I rode back home in a dream like mood. I was so determined. I didn’t tell anyone about my plans, didn’t even hint. I didn’t want anyone to try and stop me. I was not expecting to see that afternoon, but there I was. A friend pulled over in his truck and talked to me for a bit ( I was on my bike). He had depression too, but I hadn’t seen him in years, and now he had a job, and a truck and looked good. That evening I got a surprise visit from my group of buddies and best friend who just just got back from Australia! I’ve spent the past couple days with them. I ended up confessing to my friend, who was sweet and unjudging. They gave me a good dose of hope, at least the sparks of it. So.. was God like, “well too fucking bad, it’s not a good time to go yet, but here’s a good reason to keep drudging along.’ Why didn’t the hemlock kill me?? I should have been dead four days ago..