A constant question I ask.. How did I get here? How did I get to this empty dark place? A few ppl have said that I am not to blame for my past. But what if I fought harder to prevent all this torture I have now? What if I could’ve prevented the nightmares and seeing his face feeling his hands and his breath. Smelling his disgusting sweat and hearing his disturbing voice? What if I am the one to blame? I feel as though he shouldn’t get away with all he did while I sit and remember every last thing.. Yet he has no guilt and walks the streets free? Maybe that’s the reason? Maybe it’s because I’m to blame for not fighting back hard enough.. I was too weak I still am weak.. He won.. I need our of the everyday torture of the memories he gave me. Out of all the lies I’ve been told…
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3 comments
Well as far as the past goes. There is nothing we can do bout what already has been done.
we don’t have the option to rewind the tape in life and change our behaviors or change what happened to us and how we reached back then. At times in our lives especially when we are young we don’t know how to react to certain circumstances that face us because we are inexperienced.
what you need to do is just try to let the past Go and start your life all over NOW. Now is all you have. Try to forgive what somebody did to you and also forgive yourself if you didn’t do something better to deal with it back then. Don’t let some bad event in your past prevent you from having a good productive life Now. Don’t look at yourself as a weak person. You are not a weak person. You’ve just been through some stuff but you are still alive and able to change things in your life and move forward.
Get your mind focused on what is going on in your life now and make positive plans to make things better for yourself. Me I had an awful childhood and many other times in life I had it really bad but if I sit around and dwell on it then I wind up going nowhere. Instead I focus on my life now. I am thankful for what I have and I make plans in my life to try and make things better for myself and move forward. That is all you can do. Move forward
You can do it.
It’s easier said then done to “let go” when you relive it everyday as if it were real
That’s the problem you have to become preoccupied with as many tasks as possible throughout the day and the more complex the better. That’s why I did temping so I could do lots of different things every week, go to new places and meet new people. When you’re compelled to think about something else for 9 hours a day and it’s varied, it allows you to replace some of the bad memories.