I can not escape this feeling. I did what I could today to get away from this. Here I am feeling the exact same way. I feel useless, a bad mother, a bad person. I don’t know what else to do. I called my therapist today to get some meds. He never called me back. He told me to call him. It was a crappy day. Even though I did everything I possibly could to make it a better day. To get my mind off everything. When will this feeling go away for good? I Just can’t feel this way any more. My son deserves better than this…. I do. I can’t keep going on like this…. The rare good feeling is not worth all of this sadness, anxiety and pain. I just want to pull out of this.
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I understand you totally. I think if it weren’t for my kids, I would not be here writing this. Such mixed feelings. On one hand, wanting to stick around – for them. On the other hand, feeling sorry for them that they ended up with me as their Mother. I don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel.
I’m sorry for you to be trapped feeling the way you do, you’re not a bad mother or a bad person because you recognise the situation and want it to change. The concern you have for your son shows you love him and that is something special, keep showing how much you care for him. I hope you can find a way to improve things for yourself. I read your post and it touches me with your caring nature and that you want the best for your son. Keep posting if it helps, talking can improve things.
Well keep trying your therapist. Sometimes they get overwhelmed with paper work and calls and sometimes they just cant get back to you quickly. But keep trying.
when you get the meds take them as prescribed
you are NOT a bad person and you are NOT a bad mother.
those are lies. Your just going through some issues right now and trust me EVERYBODY
has issues. I even know people who are multimillionares and have everthing… the picture perfect life and even they have big issues to deal with that others dont know about.
so hang in there you will get through this
Im here to chat if you want
good luck
Id also like to try to encourage you to exercise daily. Even if its just a short walk around the neighboorood. Getting outside and exercising can do you good and clear your mind and you will feel better.
Thank you all. I didn’t call my therapist back. He still hasn’t called me. Part of me is saying I have to get meds, but part of me is saying why bother… I do feel very trapped… there are a few things making me feel that way right now. I have felt trapped for a long time. The situations keep changing, but the feelings remain the same… I have tried to change my thoughts about them, look at all the positives…
I don’t want to mess up my son. I feel like I will. He is missing me, even when I’m here… I am missing out on him too. I don’t want to leave him…. He is truly the only reason I am still here. One of the days I felt most strongly about doing “it”, he crossed my mind while I was sobbing into my pillow, and I talked myself out of it… I feel like I am hurting him, because I am like this. My step father used to confide in me the feelings and thoughts that he had… it was scary, especially since he would talk about doing it with me by his side… I don’t want that for my son.