hello :)

depressed_chick, PLEASE do not let your sanity or well-being be determined by your relationship with someone else. I have made this mistake many times, and it always ends in disaster. Yes, enjoy the good feelings, but use this time to develop a solid self-image that will carry you through the loss, should this relationship not work out. Develop healthy coping methods. Don’t get so emotionally invested in this that you fall apart when it ends.

I can tell you, I’ve now been miserable for one full year (well, two weeks shy of a year). I have yet to get over a lost friendship, because I made the mistake of letting my self-esteem get tangled up in his (then-positive) opinion of me. When he suddenly bailed, I “realized” that I had been right along, he’d discovered that I was ordinary and boring and not in-crowd material, and I was (and still am) devastated. Normally I don’t give a shit about those things, but I came to care very much about his opinion, and his arbitrary shift in behavior, after a whole year of a very positive, productive friendship, just confirmed all the negative feelings I had about myself. Worse, it magnified them. I’m still struggling to convince myself that HIS issues don’t reflect on me, and I’m not having much success.

From what I can tell, you seem to be a lot younger than I am. You can use this time to prevent a lot of despair and heartache down the road. Learn these lessons now, as soon and as well as you can. Learn them, internalize them, implement them. Value yourself. Otherwise you risk turning into me.