If I could just do it right now, it would be very little planning, as few “tools” as possible and I would REALLY enjoy feeling physically amazing just before starting.
I would want to do something quick, like a little slit of the wrists, thighs,and then carotid and jugular veins / arteries. Either that our I’d eat a bullet. Quick, precise, and thorough.
The only reason I can’t do it right
this moment is because I have so much shit to wrap up so that I know that I will be absolutely no more burden to anyone. , Plus, if I were to go now, I can’t say with extreme certainty that everyone I “left behind” would be okay. However, I do know that Mr. Prick that loves to drag me along just so he can try to “dip his stick” would move right along in life and be just fine. Same as all the others that have done the same in my past.
My current significant other would most likely feel quite upset by the events but Im sure he would soon see what a bullet he dodged with me taking care of things for him this way. I cant imagine anyone wanting to live a life with a complete lunatic as dependent and having to deal with all of the drama and bullshit that goes with it. And my kids to boot.
I hope that with all of the sad feelings, emptiness, and abandonment that some would feel, eventually it would be realized that I did everyone including myself a favor.
I simply wish that it could all just happen in the blink of an eye and be done with. I don’t even know what the point of this post is, Im just posting.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
2 comments
I hope your days are busy as hell and you can never find the time to hurt yourself. The fact that you’re even considering the effects on others shows me you have a good heart. Good hearts should live and breed.
Wow. I’m not really sure how to reply to that. I would like to think that I have a good heart, it’s how I was raised. The problem is that I have a huge issue with the fact that I did breed. I have 3 “offspring” if you will and I regret that fact that I even brought them into this world. I have done nothing less than ruin their lives and turn them into pain filled souls such as myself. if I had only one wish, it would be that I could take back everything that my bullshit life has put them through and give them back the purity they once had.
After learning the down and dirty about my genetic history and the impact that all of the environmental influences I had growing up had on my life and the decisions that I made, I felt it was only right to pass this knowledge and information on to my own kids. I informed them of the poison that runs through their blood and how they all have a genetic predisposition to addiction, depression, mental illness, and so on. I asked them to please consider adoption if they did in fact feel such a strong desire to procreate or to have a family. So far, I don’t think the message got through. (Especially since my son has already made me a grandmother and I have a daughter that is “not trying not to get pregnant”.)
I even informed them that it is most likely that they will end up in a relationship, married to, or have children with, someone that is just like them or that has a family history of the same types of issues. Did you know that if you took 98 “normal” people and 2 people with mental disorders or some sort of illness and placed them all in the same room, the 2 with the “issues” shall we say, would pair up with each other faster than they would with anyone else?
I wish that someone, ANYONE, would have given me that information before it was too late for me. I can’t believe that I brought these guys into this life and screwed them up so bad. I would suffer 10 lifetimes in hell if it meant I could erase all that I have done.