I think I have now entered in a new state of mine. The “Real Suicidal Path” . The feeling of knowing you’ll never be happy no matter who you are with or where you are. It’s really horrifying to feel this way. It’s like nothing and no one matters because you, yourself, doesn’t even matter. It’s getting to the point where I’m beginning to not care how my loved ones feel about anything. Rather they are upset about their own problems, or mad over my feelings… I just want to get out of bed right now, go into the kitchen, and stick a pair of scissors in my jugular.. That will surely end me. Messy and painful but fuck bitches, I’ll be dead…
I’m just so “depressed” I can’t even sleep anymore. I just lay awake. Thinking about why I fucking hate my life so much. I feel like I’m alone. Yeah, I have a man, but it just seems as though, spending any more of my valuable time with him will be a waste of fucking time because he can’t get off is ass to do anything. He doesn’t want the same things out of life like I do. And even IF he did, there is no motivation to fucking do anything about it. He is just stuck, living like he always has, that he can’t break free. But, that’s beside the point, because I didn’t come here to talk about his fucking problems.
And, you know what is so fucked up about all of this? Even if someone actually paid attention to me on here and really read my post, I wouldn’t take their advice. I wouldn’t do shit about my life. You know why? Cause there isn’t anything to do. No matter what, I know I’ll be unhappy. If I leave my man, if I take a trip to Paris, if I got a fucking dog, or tried getting a hobby, I’ll still be just as fucking tired of my life as I was before.. So, if there is anyone out there, who can relate, who knows EXACTLY what it is I’m trying to say, then why don’t we just fucking end it already cause I’m exhausted.
47 comments
Yup, I relate. Atleast you have a man.. shiet if you love him and or he loves you work on his laziness. Try different tactics. Damn, thats what being in a relationship is about, growing together. Tell him you will give him a blowjob if he enrolls in school or something, shit, men will do alot if you please him properly. Help him change.. if anything can change him its you.
Really? that’s your advice? she should give the guy a fucking blowjob? she is suffering but she should give him a blowjob to help HIM change? LMFAO I’m having a hard time typing i’m laughing so damn hard.
lol she said she wouldnt take anyones advice anyways.. wasnt the best thing to say, its what came to mind haha. well damn this is a suicide site, not all of us are in the right mind right now. I was just giving my opinion on how to get him motivated to do something. Ya maybe im speaking for myself to get my ass motivated, maybe i need a girl to give me a blowjob to release some stress… sigh, it just came out okay SORRY wont happen again.
its ok krazy I needed a real good laugh. and maybe we all need some good sex eh? lol make love not war kinda thing this is just too funny! im still laughing
we can change a lot given rite motivation. blowjob aint enuff fer me but its a step in rite direction
lmao I don’t think she was looking for advice on how to change him but hey I could be wrong! And who knows more abut sexual favours than the local suicide dating site! I come here for the laughter…who would have thought id find so much of it here?
Blowjob? Haha, yeah maybe…
damn it kaze, REALLY?
was an accident..
its all good, bro, got us talking, lol
im so sick of what ive done tc, i made such a bad desicion.. the worst ever that will haunt me and my family to our graves.. il never be able to get past this. i want to crash my jeeep at high sppeds into a pole and face my demise right now
c’mon, kaze. yeah i know it sucks. you can get past this. its just another turd on the pile of shit we call life. not enough room on this page to list all my bad decisions, screw ups, fuck ups, mistakes, and boo boos ive made. dude, why mess up a good jeep? it might haunt you, but we have gotten pretty good at fighting demons and ghosts. you can get past this and help get your family past this. may not be easy, but you can do it. do what you can do today, and worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. i love you brother man, and want you to get through this. peace to you and your family.
I dont have any advice, but it isn’t a ‘blowjob’
The author has made a serious post and i feel people are making a joke of it. Not that i can be of any use, or give advice. I am sure i will be told to lighten up or something but whatever.
i know i have also made jokes on posts but they are on posts that i feel that are stupid, or posts that are not serious.
maybe i am overreacting?
we’re serious
uhhh, I am pretty sure meant it as serious helpful advice. That is why Im laughing so damn hard. And I don’t think there is anything wrong with kills and I finding humour here. Hopefully pumpkinlover will see the humour too. If you feel I did something wrong then you and I will just have to agree to disagree cause I don’t see it that way.
It’s alright Hjerteblomst.. I guess it’s kind of funny. I didn’t take any offense to his comment anyways lol
That’s good 🙂 i will retract my previous statement. I am not a politician.
i didn’t know how you would take it
Cheat on him, make it obvious, he’ll leave, ditch the baby and live a happy life. Or “be a single mother” and find a richer/happier dude. You need a real man. True story, sis.
the fuck is ur problem?? fuck u
aight aight, let me try again. the basics.. see a psychiatrist, get er to pop you some pills to make you feel happy. exercise more to get those endorphins working to make you feel better, eat healthier, like fruits and vegetables. now back to the “blow job” part, I meant increase the sexual fun between you two to get some energy.. try and see how that goes. go wild before you end it, see if things change, experiment like crazy and have some fun. I dunno.. maybe i just been alone to long and thats what I have been missing in my life that makes it so shitty. Not all of us are blessed with a partner, sure I can go to an escort but thats degrading, expensive and only lasts an hour. but I want to have that fun with a right partner! haha. anyways, watch some funny movies.
But it’s to damn hard to increase the sexual fun, when we get no private time anyways. Then with the new baby on top of it all. Shit, I just had her two fucking months ago. I look like shit, I miss my old body. I’m back down to 120 but my ass isn’t even tight anymore. Why I’m even telling you this shit, I don’t fucking know. But that’s not even the fucking point. It’s hard to have sex with someone you kind of just want to give up on. I could exercise but the baby has colic and I can’t do a damn thing. I don’t know. Maybe I have the baby blue but the way people describe that is NOT how I feel…
And you’re right, I’m blessed I have my man but sometimes it’s not good enough. I feel like I’m single anyways since he doesn’t want to do anything..
There it goes. Once your problems start leaking on the net, it’s probably over.
Tell him. Write it on a piece of paper. Sexual favors don’t mean shit. Sex means nothing if you can’t look the significant other in the eyes. Tell him he does not have to act that way. Tell him you are hurt. Tell him that you should both help each other. Rebuild trust.
Baby blues is ok if you have someone to tell you that it’s gonna be ok.
If you are feeding the youngling with the formula, no doubt it’s colicky. If you are not, try massaging the tummy or place the baby on your knees and gently go up and down.
Two month old baby can’t get much in the way of your private time imho. Sleeping/eating/diaper changing.
What am I doing.
We live in his sisters house, and he has other kids. The baby isn’t in the way, it’s the others.
I’ll try the message/knee thing. I hope it worries.
And I’m sure it’s not the baby blues. This shitty ass feeling was here before the baby. It just change into something more serious I guess..
Be sure to place the baby on a pillow or something first before you do the knee wiggle whatever.
Can you somehow get rid of all distractions and talk to him? If he does not listen, write it down. This is not the place to solve your problems. This is not the way to do it.
Yeah, I know this isn’t the place. I didn’t even want to talk about my fucking problems with him… Everyone else does.. I just wanted to know if anyone else feels so fucking dead inside…? That just sounds to fucking clique and childish to say, “dead inside” doesn’t it? But I suppose that’s what it is…
Anyways, I appreciate you listening, and your advice. I’ll try it.
Your right, funny is i was living with a couple in the exact situation last winter and currently.. and ya they were always stressed over the same issues you are. For them it was a 2 month relationship knock up, now move in and live together and get married, mainly because of the baby. I noticed the girl was always stressed at the boyfriend about everything! No matter what he did.. hes a lil annoying but very lovable and dependable. Anyways ya they rarely have sex and it’s been 2 years since.. they always argue but they have a wonderful baby boy, a big house and both have high paying jobs that keep them together. She felt better after exercising and eatting healthier after the pregnancy. They go on shopping sprees to fill the void, buy and sell homes. They Make it work and just make plans on doing things to keep busy and make sure home is always comfortable. If they didn’t have this baby ya for sure they would of broke up eventually, but now they are tied together for life and they just try to make it work. Good home cooked meals. Seems they are always arguing but they fill the void with events and purchasing stuff. But I’m sorry I missed the baby part in your post… that’s huge. She focuses hard core on her career in her alone time.. but ya basically the best thing that can be done is try to make your home and situation as comfortable as possible. Unfortunatley you are the only one that can solve this situition to make you happier.
You have shut down. It is our natural defence mechanism. And yes I can relate. You get pissed off with other people who are doing exactly what we are, not caring about anything. Total aside, instead of giving your bf a blow job ask him to do something that will make you feel good.
fuck off this site
It’s bedtime for the brat. He was just ornery because he couldn’t find his binkie.
stfu xanadu dont meddle in my shit
I was talking about bratsbedtime. 😛 Not you.
dear pumkinlover, yeah, we are a bit off the wall here. if we were normal people i doubt we would be on this site. yes, a lot of us here experience what you are going through on a dayley basis. it is a part of our lives that we struggle with. in my case i have decided to make a stand and fight the root cause of it. me.it takes work, determination, strength, perserverance and hopefully some help. all of which i dont have. it is hard being dead inside and still having to exist. these folks here have helped me through 4 attempts in 4 weeks. two half ass cries for help and two really close calls. take time and find appropiate help for you. this is not a one size fits all type of thing. diffrent ways work for diffrent people. all of us here seek the same thing. that peace we desire, and a way to co-exist with the world around us. i havent found it yet but at least im still trying. please dont give up. each day brings something new, and who knows, maybe today will bring that magic miracle we all seek. peace
see that’s what I”m talkin about, tc. You’re a really decent guy.
well, i try to be. really hate to see others suffering. believe me, the ugly side of me can come out. i save that for the ones who really need it.
Yeah, maybe. I took some time away from him, and spent some time with my sister. Going back has been so hard for me. I hate it. I love him but I’m just so tired of being in the same damn spot in life. Everything is falling apart and has been falling a part for years. I guess, I could talk to my doctor about the way I’m feeling, like krazykraze said but I just don’t understand how that’s going to make me feel better when I just fucking hate my life. I hate everything about it.
If you are unhappy with him or your situation, I doubt that there could be a doctor that could change that for you. I guess it’s oooonly youuuuuu.
Sometimes people ask me “what happened to you? You ain’t got no groove anymore, you’ve got no soul”.
A deficiency in funk and bass could be fatal. Death is slow and often excruciating.
Those of you contemplating suicide, I strongly suggest finding an alternative method.
Killswitchon why are you being mean? I am not even commenting on anything you said and/or posted. You said you know who I am and told me to leave yet I am a stranger to you and would hope that I am not less of a human being than you are who can reach out for help
get the fuck off the site
Done. Why you hate me I have no idea bur I was liking a reason to live
tell ur bf to not add me on fb again
I don’t have a boyfriend why do you pretend to know me
Again I ask why are you being so mean to me?
u idiot. i know ur email. it shows when u comment on my post
Wow i hope you feel better about yourself by putting someone else down. Good luck on your journey
Please, don’t stop, this is entertaining.
It’s so hard to guess if he’s paranoid or if she’s stalking and playing dumb.
Both roles match the gender.