I can’t deal with being fucking bullied anymore. I’m still being called an idiot, a *****, a sociopath, and an attention seeker in person and online. I’ve gotten more threats, such as being pushed down stairs AGAIN and getting the shit kicked out of me. Meanwhile I don’t talk or interact with these people whatsoever. Seriously I cannot get away from this bullshit no matter what I do. The worst part is I can’t do shit about it because nobody fucking cares anymore. This is why I should just keep all of my emotions bottled up because whenever I share them I end up being criticized and belittled. But according to others I only “act” like this for attention and to make me feel “special”. What the fuck? I would NEVER in a million years, DELIBERATELY be this way. Why on EARTH would I want YOUR attention when I want you to leave me the fuck alone! And me being “special”? Me having a mental disability doesn’t mean I’m special, it means I HAVE A MENTAL DISABILITY. I already know I’m a shit person, I don’t need more people to tell me that.
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All I can say is how vile it is to be bullied, as is happening to you, and physically so, I only experienced names. Telling you how sorry I am for you isn’t going to help, I so want to help reassure you, but how, when you’re suffering it now. Talking through your problems with the right person should have helped you, but school students are cruel when they find out a preceived weakness, it’s horrible that they do this. I understand how soul destroying your position seems at present, all I can do is to hope you stay strong. sorry.
Tara, I’m so sorry you are going through such misery. It is of course the bullies who are the ‘shit’ people, or at any rate behaving as such. School can be a hell of cruelty, I know. What I hope is that no matter what they do, you will outlast them – that you will find an utterly different and far better world once this wretched school is disappearing in your rear-view mirror.
If they could know, the thoughts of all who have gone through this kind of torment would be with you in sympathy and support. One feels alone with it, as I know from old experience, but in truth you — we — are in excellent company.
I agree with Ishmael – it sounds as if the people bullying you are the ones with the problem, not you.
You said that nobody cares about your feelings when you try to express them. I was wondering if there is someone you feel you could at least notify about the bullying. Being pushed down the stairs is a serious assault and threats are nothing to be taken lightly. I truly hope there is something that can be done about these things, even if it means reporting them to authorities. I wish you the best.
L4Y
(L4Y@cogeco.ca)