So, I am very new to this, but I have read a lot of these. My life doesn’t seem to make a blip on the radar of all the other people out there who struggle. But, no matter how small I feel about these things, they still hurt. I mean, I am so depressed that I don’t want to move, I don’t want to think, and most days, I don’t even want to be alive. I used to write stories, and poems, and even used to keep a journal updated daily, but lately, I haven’t wanted to do anything. My parents say that all of this is my fault, and that I need better control of myself and how I feel. They say that I will never become anything useful in my life, and yet they continue to say that it’s all my fault. I try to make everyone happy. I am the last thing on my mind, but lately, I can’t help but sit and think about where I am letting my life go. My friends (what little I have anymore) say that they are always there for me. To make a long story short: I feel like my life is a plane falling from the sky in a fiery tailspin, and my only option is to jump. Problem is this: I have no parachute and nothing from stopping me to hit the ground at full force. Nothing to slow me down from the sickening sound of my body against the ocean water, or maybe even the pavement that waits below. I’ve asked for help.. several times, but no one helps me or offers. I feel like I am all alone.. and maybe I am. I should be complaining about that fact. but I can’t seem to bring myself to do so. I guess you come into this world alone, and that is how you shall go out.
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2 comments
you’re right that we come in alone and leave alone, but there’s always help for those willing to ask.
You can’t jump out of the plane because you are the plane. Don’t listen to the mainstream baloney that says life is not black and white because, at its core, it is. Either pull your plane up out of the nosedive or don’t. Whether you hit the ground or not matters only to you and the people who love you. Unless you’re a pop star or gain fame some other way, you shouldn’t expect anyone but your loved ones to care about you.
My advice to you is to be as selfish as possible. I don’t mean that you should start acting like a jerk. Where you are going in life should be what you think about more often than anything else. Getting a handle on your religion of choice is an important step most people skip. Deciding whether you believe in something or not and sticking with that decision makes life a lot easier. As an example, I stopped believing in god and embraced the idea that life is just random chance and that things only matter if you believe they matter. I don’t believe in an afterlife or karma or any of that stuff and so I worry less about the consequences of my words and actions.
Once you decide what you believe the reason is that you’re alive, go on from there. Again, in my personal life, because I view existence as little more than a vivid dream, I feel less restricted to pursue my hearts true desires (pro writing, pro wrestling). Anyway, if you do anything, you should listen to tons of george carlin and bill hicks. They taught me that I’m in more control of my life than I thought.
You don’t say how old you are but as your parents seem to be a major issue I assume you live at home. Try to think of how you can change things to make it better for you. If you need help and aren’t getting it from family, could you go see a dr? Explain your feelings to him/her. Is it possible to move away from that situation? tphg is correct that you need to look out for yourself first. You matter! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, especially yourself!