I can’t anymore. I physically can’t. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can’t be of use to anyone. I can’t keep my hands from shaking. I can’t keep my breathing even. I can’t stop myself from cutting my body up. I can’t love. I can’t cry. I can’t keep this up anymore. I can’t seem to care. But the biggest can’t I have in my life is how I can’t seem to kill myself just yet. What am I waiting for? Can’t. Can’t. Can’t. That’s all I seem to think in terms of. Was. I want to be was. I was struggling. I was suicidal. I was alive. I was human. I’m not anymore. I am a walking corpse. I am rotting.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
2 comments
*hugs*
you haven’t reached your limit. it is frightening how much pain and suffering we can actually endure. i think we are instinctively programmed to survive, even against our better judgement or desire… suicide runs in my family- one of my cousins ingested rat poison (i do not recommend btw) anyhow it is a slow and painful death. Her mom, my aunt, found her still alive, she was 17, it was too late to do anything but what struck me was that all she kept saying was that she didn’t want to die, over and over again…
i think what we all are in search of is not death, but a release from the pain, a break from the sadness and sickness in our minds
i know what it is to rot, i am sorry you feel it too-