I can’t believe that this is what it has come to…..

I don’t have Internet connection on a regular basis so if I want to write a post for this site I have to pre-write it and save it fir when I do have Internet. This is a bummer in one way because if I don’t have my laptop the next time I get Internet I can’t post it or if I have it on my flash drive but only have my cell phone the next time I have Internet then I can’t post it either.
So, now that I have that all explained away, I suppose I will update those who care or are even the slightest bit interested in my recent events.
I haven’t checked my phone yet for today and its almost noon, but yesterday I spoke with my therapist about what has been going on here lately and even though he didn’t have any openings any time soon, he was going to be trying to schedule me in the place of another patient and to reschedule that patient for another time. He was supposed to call me back yesterday but he didn’t. So, I’m not sure if that means that he was unable to reach that patient or what. I really thought that I would hear back from him by now.
As for my man and I, well, I have no idea where we stand. I know that last night someone was coming around and that he was trying to avoid having to talk to them and everything but they started to come up to the window right as we started to go to bed and he asked if I would mind if he turned off the cameras. I told him to turn them all off and that I didn’t want to hear anything or see anything all night. However, hours and hours and hours later, like around 4 am, I was woken up because I could see her light walking around the window area of the house. I waited a bit and just lay still for a few minutes and then it wasn’t until she opened the window a bit that I lost it. I first took my phone and turned on the flashlight. With the flashlight I made a shadow of my hand with the middle finger straight up in the air and shone it on the bed room curtains. This pissed her off and she and the neighbor started talking shit.
After a little while, they both came to the window and started fucking with it. So I sat straight up in bed and yelled that they needed to get the fuck away from my house and off my property or I was gonna fly through the window so fast that they wouldn’t know what hit them. They didn’t like that very much and got the man involved with the conversation. I had had it at this point and decided in order to keep my sanity that I needed to move myself from the bedroom into the living room in order to get any sort of decent sleep. This caused somewhat of a rift between my man and I but it was the only thing that I could think of to prevent myself from catching a charge and landing myself in jail.
After a minute or two of idle conversation in the living room while I built a fire, he went back into the bedroom, leaving the door open, and was going to bed or so he said to me. Well, we have a curtain that hangs in the hallway that separates the front of the house from the back. The hallway light was on and his cousin who has been here for a few days now was standing just on the other side of it and telling him what I was doing and saying to myself. I said at that point that “his eyes” should realize that every light creates a shadow. To this he gave me some smart ass unrelated comment so I repeated myself. He didn’t quite catch what I meant until his cousin said, “I’m your eyes, she’s talking about my shadow.” So he told me that I should close my eyes. I was pissed but I had taken a sleeping pill at just quarter to 6 am and so by now I was just about asleep. I dosed off and was asleep for about an hour and a half when I heard my son leaving for school. It was only 7:40 am and I was really disappointed when I realized I hadn’t been asleep very long. It wasn’t hard for me to get back to sleep. I don’t recall what time it was when I woke back up but it wasn’t very late again. My asked me to come sleep in bed with him but I just knew something had been going on and was very reluctant.
Anyhow, we ended up having sex around 2 or so in the afternoon. While we were having sex, the bedroom door was open as we had the house to ourselves. He looked down the hall and I could tell that he was looking at someone. I just ignored it and pretended not to notice. Just as we were about done, his cousin came back and needed to be let into the house. My man got up and let him in. I heard some whispering and then I could hear his cousin ask him “She knows?” He had started to say no but then I said “Oh yeah, I know.” His cousin asked and she doesn’t do anything about it? I said oh no, not yet. They have no idea how much I know but I will do something. They just don’t know what or when I’m going to do it. There was an odd silence and then they stated talking in a somewhat loud indoor voice about something completely unrelated. And that was that.
That was a couple nights ago and as of tonight, I have left the house for the evening just so that I could get away from all of the games and bullshit. I have to sit and listen all day everyday to the stupid bitches in the neighborhood calling me a stupid ***** or a fucking ***** for whatever reason they want to conjure up at that moment.
I was quite certain that I was being paranoid and even stupid about people but here we are and I have left the comfort of my own bome just so that I could escape the insanity and they have all followed me here. When I say them all, I mean the fucking ECHO people, the assholes that are calling me every name in the book, and now the authorities.
I won’t do this. I won’t have a rap sheet. I wont have a record, I won’t be the victim any longer. If I post again, I will be just as surprised as you.
Farewell.