Six months ago – In August 2014, I was perhaps happier than I’ve ever been and fulfilling a number of long-held dreams. I’m 45 years old and have a beautiful wife and daughter. I had been through some tough times before – nothing major – made some sacrifices and got through by focussing on the future. I was in the process of completing some big changes in my life that I had worked long and hard for.
Unexpectedly, a perfect storm of mostly random events and coincidences triggered a tidal wave of panic in me. Before I realized what was happening, I threw away a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that I have been focussing on for over ten years. The personal, professional and financial costs have been devastating and life-altering.
I was in the process of making a smart move that would improve my life and make me a better person. It backfired because of the panic attack and I lost a home that was my only real material asset. Worse – my marriage and career are now threatened. All of my relationships have been compromised.
I have not had an authentically positive emotion in over 5 months. My range consists of full-blown panic at one end and a numb depression on the other. The impact that this is having on my family is devastating. I need to get better for them.
6 comments
That’s rough. Hope you can stay strong for your family and muddle through. I have not had a really positive emotion in the last 20 years… and here I still am, for a little longer I suppose.
Thanks for the reply and the thoughts curfde. 20 years? I’d be interested to learn more about your story. Is there any way to search posts by author on the site?
Listen. You have to stop. Now. Im a middle aged guy too and my marriage DID fail. Listen. You can recover. You can work, you can find a place to live. But if you dont get a grip right now and save your family and marriage a whole new hell you havent even tasted yet is going to burn you to the bone. Trust me. Everything else is expendable, even if it sucks. Family is not replaceable. Concentrate there. Struggle with poverty if you have to but focus HARD on what matters.
notsureifreadytogo – thanks for your thoughts. This is exactly the sort of advice I need to hear right now, and it means a lot. I’d be interested to learn more about your story. Have you posted any threads on this site? Is there any way to search posts by author?
I have. But I assure you my story is uglier than yours. I turned into an abusive husband and lost my wife and one of my children. (He was hers from a previous relationship but I raised him from 2 years old). So there is no pity for me. But you…. You still have hope. You sound like a better guy than I am. You can do it bud. You have to.
Click on a name and you should be able to browse posts.