Hi, guys. Bit of a long story here, will try to keep it short.
I’m Pixie, I’m 22 and I live with my fiancee, as well as severe depression.
I have been known to drink to cope with my problems in the past. It has caused problems, for which I have taken action on and done my best to cope with therapy and medication. It has helped to some degree.
However, tonight my boyfriend went out to a party he didn’t invite me to, even though the host of the party did, and came home drunk and abusive. He told me to f-off and shut up any time I tried to say anything. Then he said he loved me but I could F=off. I don’t understand.
The depression is insurmountable now. I have drank a bottle of wine and taken some sleeping tablets and seroquel. I feel at ease. I’m not sure if I want to die or make it stop. Can anyone relate? How many tablets does it take to die, without pain? I’m not sure I can do this anymore.
Any kind words would be appreciated.
3 comments
He was probably just talking nonsense because he’s drunk. You shouldn’t really take it to heart.
But you could tell him how he acted, later, so then if he feels guilty about it you can use it to make him make it up to you.
I’m not a big expert, but, i don’t think sleeping pills can kill you, and i don’t know what the other one might do.
If you took a lot it might cause you damage and problems that will just make you feel worse later, so if you really did take many, please, you should tell someone and get help
I don’t know you two, or what’s happening between you, but if he does love you, i’m sure you two can work it out.
If therapy and meds help, you can try to hang on a bit longer and it might help you more as you keep going with them.
Just from reading I doubt pills will do anything except make one sick. I’m not certain but most articles I’ve read don’t show generic pills as doing much except making you sick.
I too hope you can remain strong in the interim.
There are a lot of things going on here. The drinking and the pills are accelerating your downward spiral. Does your boyfriend fully understand what you are going through? Have you discussed it with him (when you’re both sober). Do you have a close friend you can talk to? Do you have access to your therapist so you get help? The word abusive is never good and I hope it’s not serious. You’re so young and you have so much ahead. I am older than you and have been through the depression, anxiety, drug merry-go-round and I can tell you that my life ain’t perfect . However, there have been long periods of calm in my life which I managed to squeeze some living into. You are not alone in this struggle and my experience is that if you can push through this temporary darkness that you’ll find something worthwhile.