I Can’t do This.

My life has slowly come to a stand still. I am stuck, my depression has taken over and I feel like no one loves me anymore. I have had so many people tell me that love is love, but what if there was no love in the first place? I’m tired of falling apart everyday, I am sick of suffering. I don’t want to be here anymore so what is the point. My family tries their best to understand me and relate but it doesn’t work. I have pushed them away and now they are angry. I am not sure why, but I bet it is frustrating to see that they give me so much, but I can not be happy or appreciative. I want to die, I have been hurting myself lately, using alcohol to numb everything but it just isn’t working anymore. The pain is unbearable that I feel and I would never wish it upon anyone, but I know what people are going to say. The fact that if I end my life I will just give them the pain I could not stand, but I don’t see it as that way. I am ready to be gone and be free, they will live without me because they truly do not love me. I am an obligation to them, I am something they have to love. I did not ask to be born, so why do I have to explain my actions. I am getting to the end of my rope and I can not take anymore.