my past is bad i was sexually abused and beat. My real dad died when i was two of a car wreck.Ive attempted suicide three times in my life and the last time i almost ended it. I still self harm and its how i cope with all the things that i go through.
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Hi Kate, I think the most important word you use in your post is “past”.
No matter how bad it’s been, the past is always the past and you can ALWAYS change your future.
What are your plans now? How are you going to make sure your past doesn’t drag down your future?
Make a plan to build a new life and follow it through.
You should see a therapist to help you deal with the traumatic experiences you’ve had. Self-harm is just a distraction and causes damage to your body.
You reminded me of my teen years when I was unable to see myself or fix myself as I could today. Once you lose your self-esteem, your inner confidence/strength, then you become like driftwood in the sea, being pulled this way and that.
I knew there was something wrong with me-like my insecurity but I had no tools or means to see through my own nasty self-image. I was faking it all the way…pretending to be someone I’m not but on the inside I was a train-wreck. I was feeble and failed to stick up for myself when I should’ve.
It took me many years to overcome that-and I missed out on many great opportunities that life offered me because of my head not being in the right state. Sadly I’m no longer young so I don’t get those types of opportunities anymore but being my 40s now I’m sticking around to see if I can find happiness once again.
I wish you the best in whatever you do but given what you’ve gone through, I strongly recommend that you get help, you can’t do it alone, it’s very hard.