I left the house at 3:45 pm when I remembered I wanted to visit a few of the local thrift stores. I got to four out of five I wanted to. I found two pillows- a body on and a bed pillow. Just 30 minutes before I was unable to make a move towards anything. I was so down, I called my crisis line and just spoke for a ten minutes or so. Just enough to get myself going.
So, as I dash from one side of town to the other I am feeling- this is life! Yes! Just an hour ago I was going to call UNCLE! on being able to move my limit back. Was going sink into my bed and escape. I felt proud I was up and going, even if it was late.
BUT but but…
Went to the grocery store- bought ice cream. Drove to another grocery store and…., and….
and ate the whole carton. 🙁 WHY??
But I felt so fake. I felt I was pretending all was okay. And I was. I was stressed out still. I feel so utterly alone. So I flaked. Success is so fleeting. I had even had a nice talk at a laundry mat with a family- 10 year old daughter, 11 year old son and a mom. They were so nice. But they were gone and I am still standing in the middle of a blank life. 🙁
Oh well. It was better than it could be. And I WILL get to work tomorrow.
THAT is ALL I have to do! I am just so tired…